No More Drama

Sorry for the sad lack of posts lately but to be quite honest, there hasn't been a whole lot to post about. When there is a deficiency of drama in one's life, it gets hard to come up with the entertaining and juicy bits o' blog fodder.

Hubby and I are planning a trip to the city this weekend. We're gonna eat out at a nice restaurant and go see a movie. Maybe "Wild Hogs" - we've heard from folks who saw the sneakview last weekend that it is really good with plenty of laughs.

The rodeo drill team thing is going good. I'm really enjoying being part of a group of people who love their horses and riding as much as I do. We know that people don't come to the rodeos to see us but once we get out there and do our thing, they see how entertaining it can be. Rodeo contestants might think we are "sissies" for just riding around in patterns carrying flags but the crowd enjoys it and that is really all that matters seeing as how they are the ones who paid for tickets.

The Bear is still ornery as ever. The weather has been really mild and pretty down here for the past couple of weeks with only a chilly day or two here and there. So we have been spending as much daylight allows outside playing in the dirt and chasing the dog. Good times.

That's about all that is going on around here.

By the way, has anyone really seen Castro lately? Because I'm thinking somebody is just posing his corpse for photo ops. But that's just me.

An Inspirational Gift

A friend passed this along to me and I feel compelled to share it with whomever happens onto my blog, whether intentional or not.

I've never been a big fan of "religious art" meaning those depictions of Christ and the Virgin Mother.

But this artist's creations are incredible.

This is Hilarious!

I apologize if you have already seen this one in your Inbox but I had to post it because the punch line sounds EXACTLY like something my Dad would say!

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie. "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are than me when you don't know a thing about cows . . . this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."

Horse Dancing 101

Here's a grid of some of our patterns. This is just page 1 of 4. These twelve patterns represent about 2 to 3 minutes of real-time action. We want our opening ceremonies routine to last at least 10 minutes.

Colonel hasn't seen the entire 4 pages of grid yet. I'm hoping he's feeling frisky and up to anything we try. But like every other old man I know, I'm expecting some b****ing and moaning from him (because his preferred activity includes staying at the house and eating).

Back in the Saddle

I know I told y'all about the Rodeo Drill Team week before last but Canada sent us a freezing cold winter front that Friday afternoon so we didn't get to practice last weekend like I was anticipating.

But we did get out to the arena yesterday afternoon and today to practice our patterns. We did it all at a walk-trot because we are going to have to have it down pat once we put music to it because that will up the tempo considerably. Add that to the fact that some of the horses don't feel like "dancing" at times and we have our work cut out for us.

I am really excited about taking this project on. The entire team is made up of some really fantastic people and spending the last two afternoons with them was a lot of fun and then some.

I'm going to scan in a couple of our patterns so you can see what I'm talking about.

Wrong Thoughts on Products e-Store Grand Opening!!

It's official. Wrong Thoughts on Products is now open for bidness.

I have launched myself out in to the all-consuming void that is known as e-commerce. We'll see how long this lasts.

But I had fun creating the products just for you in my e-store. Or rather, I had fun coming up with the smarmy comments to put on products. There are lots of products offered on CafePress so if you see a product I don't have but think I should and you even have a good idea what to print on it, let me know. Not that I would share the loot with you or anything but I will give you props on the blog. Just saying.

Now, where's your credit card?

Another Funny from my (retired) Dad

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make theirdays interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?"

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a"Nazi ."

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary in '08."

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

Confusing Previous Post

Just so you don't think the previous post was confirmation of my lunacy (it's still pending), I'm working on setting up my own little store-front on the web. Maybe generate a little cashflow for the upkeep of Muddy Feet Farms.

I'll keep you posted on when the Grand Opening is scheduled!

Thanks for Shopping!

I hope you enjoy your Wrong Thoughts on Products as much as I enjoyed designing them!

More NASCAR Fan Stuff

Y'all are gonna think me and the Hubby are a couple of lovesick fools who need to get a room but I really want to share our Valentine's gift with everyone.

We ordered NASCAR HotPass from DirecTV! WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!



'scuse me whilst I wipe a tear . . .

Everybody's got their Snickers in a Twist

I know I'm pretty tardy in posting about this topic since the Super Bowl was over a week ago, but this has been on my mind and I am just getting around to putting my opinion into words.

Apparently lots of folks got more than a little peeved about the Snickers commercial that aired during the big game. For some us, the commercials really are the best part (especially if our favored team isn't playing).

This particular commercial is getting flack because two polar opposite groups found it offensive. The homophobes were offended because it showed two guys eating the same candy bar and quasi-kissing. The gay community was offended because after the quasi-kiss, the two guys voiced the need to "do something manly."

Okay, while I understand the affront taken by both positions that have been reported by the media, I don't side with either of them. I'm with the third group that wasn't even given voice about this particular issue.

I'm with the group that thinks it was just a crappy commercial all the way around.

Boogity Boogity Boogity!!

Okay, if you're not a NASCAR fan then you can pretty much skip this post.

But if you ARE a fellow NASCAR fan, all I can say is:

I AM SO READY FOR SOME RACING!!!!

We got the tv on Speed channel today and apparently there's gonna be something like 10 hours of constant NASCAR coverage starting with Budweiser Shootout and then all kinds of joyful pre-Daytona festivities.

So with an entire day full of wonderfully satisfying NASCAR stuff, I don't plan on getting out of my pajamas until some time tomorrow right before time to leave for church.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

It's Official

The Bear is now in the "Younger Pre-School" class. His last day in the Toddler class was yesterday. While Daddy and I are excited for his big accomplishment, we are a little melancholy about it too.

He's getting so big and it's happening so fast. What happened to our little 6 lb. 7 oz. tree frog? (You should've seen this kid's feet and hands when he came out!)

Of course, the Bear couldn't be happier about it. There is a certain elevation of independence in the Pre-School classes and he is very adamant that he is Big Boy.

So while he continues on his journey through life which inevitably brings milestones and accomplishments, Daddy and I will still see the little bitty baby boy we brought home so long ago.

Cakes and Cookies and Pie! Oh My!

The Bear's dayschool is having its Annual Spring Fundraiser next month. Since it is a sliding scale daycare/pre-school, the majority of parents do not pay full tuition. Ergo, our little church school would be in the red every month to the tune of about $5,000.

But this is where the incredible part comes in. Despite the fact that 99.9% of the children do not come from "affluent" (read - financially secure) families, many of our local very flush neighbors have been generous with their donations and their monthly support of the school. Since we not very flush nor affluent, Hubby and I participate in the "I'm In" group that donates $50 a month. The hope being that if 100 people joined the group, $5,000 shortfall would be eliminated. The school's very small and very tight budget gets some critical financial breathing room.

There are two annual fundraisers: Spring and Fall. I love the fundraisers for two reasons. First, since the Bear is a regular attendee of the school, he gets to participate in the activities at the fundraisers and see everyone working together to keep his school (WHICH HE LOVES!) open and running. Secondly, I get to donate a beautiful cake to the cake auction. These are no ordinary cake auctions. I usually spend between $30 to $50 for a 3-layer 10 or 12-inch cake with decorative icing plus I'll buy a $25 cake stand to go with it. So I donate approximately $75 but guess how much that little puppy will bring in?!?

How about $750? Yep, you got it. I donated a $30 cake and a $25 cake plate last Fall (the cake was a round 3-layer cake with yellow icing and colored polka dots) and the final bid was $750.

And you know who pays that kind of dough? GRANDPARENTS. They come in and see what wonderful things are happening with their grandchildren at this weekday ministry school and they can't wipe out their pension funds fast enough.

I love it. So, this Spring's donated cake will be a 10-inch, 3 layer Tuxedo cake on a pink cake stand.

YIPPEEE for ME!!

I just got a call from the Chairman of our local Rodeo Association and I have been asked to join the Drill Team!! I've wanted to do it but it is an invitation only group so, as you can guess, I am very excited about it.

For those of you who don't know what a rodeo drill team, it is a group of horses and riders who move in sync with each other throughout the rodeo arena (usually to the National Anthem and other upbeat toe tapping music). Most of the riders carry flags (the Stars & Stripes, the Texas Flag, and other relevant flags that are related to the specific event) and a few of the riders do not carry flags but perform fancy hoofwork. Kind of like horse dancing.

Our first practice is this Saturday.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Back in the Groove

We took a long weekend to go to Fort Worth to see my Dad-in-law and crew. Hubby cooked up some big honkin mouthwatering steaks for everybody (after they had marinated in beer all night - the steaks, I mean).

It's nice to go to the city every once in a while if only to remind us that the aggravations far outweigh the advantages (at least for us personally) of living in a metropolitan area. The traffic still sucks, the total lack of courtesy is even more blantant than ever, the crime is just a regular part of every day life. No thanks.

I'm gonna stick with my little small town with only one grocery store, four restaurants, and one 4-way stop intersection. Where everybody knows my business and you know what? I'm seeing where that is a good thing. If I don't show up for work or if I'm not seen in town for more than a few days, people start asking questions and calling to see if I'm okay. It's truly more concern than curiosity. I like the fact that when I come up to the 4-way stop, sometimes it's a contest to see who can be the most courteous. "You go." "No, you go." "You go first." "No, YOU go first." "Thanks, see you at coffee shop."

I know it sounds hokey but despite all the goofball things that go on in a small town, I'm just gonna keep my boots on and stay in the country. I had the big city life and all the trappings that go with it. Been there, done that.

And guess what? It ain't all I thought it was cracked up to be. Quite frankly, I can't remember much about the life except what new car I drove, where I worked, and what expensive clothes I wore. Past that, I couldn't give you a whole lot of details. Sounds pretty sad to me now.

And now, if I'm not chasing a 3 year old Bear around, I'm working with the horses, or I'm helping on a(nother) committee at church, or contributing my time or baked goods to the current fundraiser. Hubby and I eat lunch together almost every day - eating at our own table and sharing our mornings' events. No rush - no bustle - just a little quality time together over turkey sandwiches and Funyuns.

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why." ~ Eddie Cantor