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Seminole, Texas, United States
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill

Tuesday, June 27

Take DAT!

Y'know, I have finally figured out that people are, for the most part, unequivocally stupid and, at the end of the day, there is nothing I can do about it.

Take this for instance, apparently Naomi Campbell (huge-lipped uber-model) continues to partake of her favorite pasttime: bitch-slappin' her hired help. This slaphappy bitch has been in the media how many times? something like FIVE for her domestically abusive habits but still, people choose to go to work for her!?

The only thing I can figure is that these folks are counting on a big payday which could be only one thrown telephone and 4 stitches away.

Thursday, June 22

Remind me not to be a lawyer . . .

Apparently Saddam's point man for his legal defense team got himself killed a day or two ago. Gee, that's too bad.

And now, Saddam's decided his best course of action is to go on a hunger strike. 'scuse me whilst I piss all over myself in hilarity!

Somebody please explain to me (because I obviously missed the key information) about how this is supposed to be bad for us and not him.

Die of hunger, you sadistic piece of vomit. Save the taxpayers some extremely stupidly spent money.

Tuesday, June 13

D I E T is a &*$(^*#!!! Four-Letter Word!

Holy Mother of Pete please help me survive this which is the dankest hell I have yet to experience in my entire life!

So I signs myself up for one of the more popular "diet programs" making the rounds these days. Y'know, the kind where all of your meals are pre-packaged and pre-eliminated of any taste whatsoever.

At the moment I am enjoying (and I used that term LOOSELY) my daily Snack of choice and it is requiring no less than 32 ounces of unsweetened tea to wash this 1 ounce brownie sponge down my gullet.

Now my tea is all gone. Trust me, I have absolutely NO qualms about sucking on the lime slice for moisture at this point.

HAAAAAAACK! For the love of mercy it is INSANE the things middle-aged females will do to lose a few pounds.

If I don't lose at least 15 pounds on this cursed earth diet, somebody's gonna lose a leg. Maybe even a whole chicken!