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Seminole, Texas, United States
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill

Monday, February 19

This is Hilarious!

I apologize if you have already seen this one in your Inbox but I had to post it because the punch line sounds EXACTLY like something my Dad would say!

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie. "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are than me when you don't know a thing about cows . . . this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."

2 comments:

Wyatt Earp said...

J - Regarding the NASCAR league. Click on that link on SYLG. Then go to "Create or Join Group." Click there, and then click "Join Existing Group" then click "Join Private Group." Enter the number and the password. That should do it.

Lorraine said...

Many chuckles...