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Seminole, Texas, United States
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill

Tuesday, February 1

Flashback: City Trippin'

Even though the Trent Willmon concert and our excursion to Gilley's Dallas was the purpose of the trip to town this past weekend, there were other highlights to our visit to the big city.

First, seeing as how we live down a dirt road surrounded by dirt and pretty much dirt is big part of our lifestyle, I really wanted to get the truck detailed. The biggest reason being that I could pay somebody to do it while I kicked back and ate me some Krispy Kremes. Yes, I said Krispy Kremes.

We pull up to a fairly well known establishment and I tell the greeter guy, "Hey greeter guy, give me the daily special." Okay, here's where me and greeter guy apparently have a separating of the minds. While I'm thinking $24.99 daily special (taking into consideration I'm driving a truck and there's a $5 surcharge for trucks - whatever), greeter guy is thinking a little bigger in the money department.

First he starts of his spiel with, "Well, you got alot of mud on the nerf bars and undercarriage and then I see you have alot alot alot of bugs up front and with that grill guard that's gonna take some time and the auto wash ain't gonna be able to get all that so what we're talkin about here is a hand pre-wash and then run it through the auto wash and then we'll need to probably shampoo those floor mats cause you got alot alot alot of dirt and stuff in there but I'll knock off the shampoo charge if you want to go ahead and do the hand wash."

Did I just buy a condo in Miami? I'm not sure what just happened but okay - hook me up, greeter guy!

He starts writing up the Wash Order Request, Big Daddy unloads the kid and kid stuff and magazines and newspapers, while I unload myself and the Krispy Kremes.

Greeter Guy hands my ticket and quite honestly, I didn't want to look at it. Just go in and pay it - rip it off like a bandaid. Cashier Girl rings me up: $75 BUCKS!!! Okay, so rip a bandaid off a bullet wound. Jeez loooo-weez!

Of course, Big Daddy is about to stroke out. $75 DOLLARS?!!!?? Are you totally and completely SH***ING ME!!??? So I start trying to negotiate with him - "Honey, this truck never gets washed and when we lived in the city we spent $30 a week getting our cars detailed. It's not like we're going to spend a total of $100 washing this truck all year. Chill out."

So while he's getting his blood pressure back under control our little one is enjoying watching the cars and trucks go through the auto wash. Cars and trucks and cars and trucks. But not our truck. So where is it?

104 MINUTES LATER . . . they bring our truck back around. It looks good. Not $75 great, but good enough. Then I get in. There is dust on the dash. What the ****? $75 FLIPPIN DOLLARS AND I STILL HAVE DUST?? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME??!!?

Smirkily Big Daddy says, "Yeah, and did you see the wheels?"

But you know what? I'm okay with it. You know why?

Because my kid left a big fat green booger on their waiting room floor.

Karma. It'll bite you every time.

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