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Seminole, Texas, United States
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill

Tuesday, April 3

But Insanity is FREE!

With all the brouhaha surrounding the big Mega Millions lottery this past weekend, my curiosity got the better of me and I started reading the online articles about the possible winners and the McDonald's employee who is trying to scam her co-workers out of their share and all that other muhlarkey.

What I find so incredible is the history of some past lottery winners and what became of them and their caches of cash.

For the life of me I will never understand how someone can win multiple millions of dollars (AFTER taxes) and then within the space of 10 years (or even less) they are practically destitute. Wait. Wha--? HOW?!?!!?!

Even if, for the sake of those who foresee the complete and total collapse of our banking/internet/governmental bodies, a winner CASHES their win - by cashes, I mean takes payment in the form of bags and bags and bags of paper dollars and some change, the complete divesture of such sums would be a full time job.  How did those people do it?  It boggles my mind.

Now, for the best part and you know you've been waiting for it, here's what I would do if I ever won:

1.  Hire a board certified estate lawyer to create a family trust to receive the winnings.
2.  Hire a CRAZY EXCELLENT accountant (for future tax purposes).
3.  Create separate living trust for the Bear.
4.  Write out 9 checks each for $1 million.  The recipients are parents and chosen charities.
5.  Receive interest earnings ONLY for every day living.
6.  Buy new vehicles (total cost approximately $80k)
7.  Pay off current mortgage + buy vacation home in mountains (total cost approx $600k)
8.  Live comfortably but not in big pimpin' style for the rest of our lives.
9.  Leave an incredible fortune to the Bear to hopefully perpetuate another good life for him and his family and so forth.

See?  I have a serious plan.  Now all I gotta do is WIN.


Simply Suthern said...

You left out step 2.5. Hire someone to watch over that Crazy Excellent accountant. They often get rich the old fashion way. They scam ya.

jLow said...

Not that I was gonna publicize it, but yeah, I have a, um, friend. Yeah. Friend. Goes by the name of "Guido" . . . . he's good with people.