As I was sitting with the Husband and SIL (Sister-in-Law) the other evening and discussing dealing with difficult people, they both informed me how I "have no filter."
By no filter they mean that I say what I think and feel without running it through the mental "should I say this out loud?" filter. Apparently their opinion is that I should utilize my filter more than I presently do - - which is never.
I can honestly say that I do not recall a time when I have regretted anything I have said and most especially if I said it during a highly emotional moment.
I think that it is part of what is wrong with our society today. That politically correct bullshirt that started during the Clinton years did nothing except create more friction and less common ground between people of differing views. Oooh, don't say what you really think because that will offend somebody somewhere.
How are we supposed to find common ground on important issues if people won't put their true thoughts out there and hear the other person's true thoughts THEN work towards the middle? How the hell are you supposed to know where the actual middle IS if nobody is honest about their actual position?
But back to the discussion with the Husband and the SIL. The question was posed to me, "Don't you sometimes think that you shouldn't say something because it will hurt the other person's feelings?"
My answer: "If they don't want my opinion, then they should not enter into the discussion with me in the first place. If someone's bad behavior is affecting me, damn right I'm going to call them on it. When I believe in something, I'm passionate about it. Apathy is one of those things that completely sets me off."
Another question to me: "Yeah, but do you have compassion?"
Me: "Very little of it."
My experience is that "the filter" only causes misunderstandings and frustration. And sometimes irreparable damage to the relationship. The misunderstanding is because the filter prevented an honest opinion from being heard. The frustration is caused by the misunderstanding which results in no resolution. No resolution means no improvement, no change, continued lack of honest communication. Damage that will never be repaired nor prevented.
Y'all can keep your filter.