Joke of the Week

Firetruck

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.

'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed that the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

Nancy, I thinks I loves you !

Given my standard right-sided positions on just about everything, this is a HUGE deal.

But House Speaker Nancy Pelosi manned up and shut down a resolution honoring Michael Jackson for being, as stated by Democrat Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee of Texas, "an American legend, musical icon, and world humanitarian."

Personally, I'm thinking Jackson Lee been smokin' some crack.

Thank goodness clearer heads prevailed in Washington (this time).

The path of least resistance . . .

is the path to least reward.

There are some people in my life who for whatever reason do not address their beliefs in the same way I do. When I feel strongly about something, I don't hide my opinions. If anything I share my opinions with just about anybody that will listen. So when someone tells me they feel one way about something and then sits down and shuts up because someone else will disagree, I'm confused and not just a little aggravated.

Now I'm not saying make your opinion on something your life's mission to force on everyone else. That's a whole different thing.

Certain events have transpired in my life that have created some uncomfortable situations with family members. One person has taken a completely unreasonable stance on a particular subject that has the rest of us crossing our eyes because at the most she is being incredibly selfish and destructive and at the very least she is being completely STUPID.

Maybe I am the one who is unreasonable here. But I say she needs to be confronted with all the facts, whether she likes them or not because hey! there are lots of facts about life that I don't like but that doesn't change them. Grow up! And once she is forced to see the facts and acknowledge that we all know the facts to be true, then the cards can fall where they may. Her happiness or unhappiness with the rest of her life is completely up to her. She is the only one that can control that and regardless of what anyone else tries to do, she cannot be protected from herself.

I don't like living with lies and I don't like being covert about someone I love or something wonderful in my life that she has chosen to be a complete asshole about.

THIS Chick Seriously Needs to Get a Life!

I'm totally befuddled by someone who would put so much energy into one topic.

One? Really?!??

Why is it when you order the messiest thing on the menu (i.e., extra-long chili cheese coney), they only give you one napkin?

Honestly. Can anyone eat an extra-long chili cheese coney and require only one napkin?

I thought not.