Hell on (Boot) Heels

Law of Percentages

2012-01-24T08:51:00.000-06:00

In previous posts I've shared some the Bear's more entertaining comments and observations. Even though before parenthood people tell you how funny kids are, one does not fully understand the extent of the hilarity until they give birth to their own little comic.

So these days we are dealing with the normal 2nd grader angst: who is friends with whom, whose birthday is next, why are girls so weird, stuff he wants to do after school, etc.

But lately when we ask him what he wants to eat, does he want to play baseball, does he like his new teacher, the Bear is answering in percentages.

Me: "So you think you want chicken or pizza for dinner?"

Him: "Weeeeelllllllllll, I want chicken 30% and pizza 70%."

Me: "Okay. So that's a yes on the pizza?"

Him: "No. I think it's 60% chicken and 40% pizza."

Me: "So you want chicken?"

Him: "No I want pizza."

Or this exchange yesterday-

Me: "It's getting closer to time to sign up for baseball. Are you thinking you want to play again this year?"

Him: "Right now I'm about 85% that I want to play. How much weeks do I have to decide?"

Me: "Probably about three weeks."

Him: "Okay. I should be at 100% by then."

We have no idea where the percentages came in but I guess it's a good thing that he takes time to consider his options. Shows some type of patience, right?

Historically Significant

2012-01-20T10:47:00.000-06:00

At least in our house it is.

For the first time in the twelve years since we first met, me and Big Daddy are fans of the same team.

Keep in mind we still root for different NASCAR drivers. We have our limits, y'know.

I've been a Patriots fan for about 16 years. I was a Bledsoe girl before it was cool. Big Daddy has been a Cowboys (blech) fan his whole life and about 10 years ago he started liking the Colts. Peyton Manning is his all time favorite player.

But this past season has been a lot of fun for more than one reason. I enjoyed watching the Detroit Lions make somewhat of a comeback. I'm an underdog kind of fan. I want the guy who is expected to lose to overcome and make everybody's pulse rate quicken. While I was unhappy with Schwartz's (coach) inability to enforce better sportsmanship of his team, I still enjoyed see Matthew Stafford and the rest of the Lions play like they meant it.

The other reason this season was so much fun is because of Tim Tebow. And if you are an anti-bandwagon kind of person, you may as well stop reading now. Because we whole-heartedly jumped onto the Tebow Express bandwagon! And it's not just because of his plays on the field. It's because of who he is as a human being.

Praise God we finally have a crazy popular athlete that chooses humility and kindness instead of smack talk and poor fashion choices.

I'm a parent to a 7 year old boy who, like 99% of all young kids, watches how adults act and interact with each other. I see how what he witnesses reflects in how he interacts with others. And to top it off, the kid is a Broncos fan. We bought him a jersey and helmet for Christmas about 3 years ago but the only one in his size was Broncos. We went ahead and got it because, hey! one of Big Daddy's best friends is the son of a former Broncos coach.

So this year found me and Big Daddy both squarely in the Broncos fan base. It's been pretty great and a lot of fun. Big Daddy wants a Tebow jersey and so does the Bear. I'm looking to get hooked up with a Dumervil jersey - due to my maiden name I'm pretty sure we're related some how. ;o)

Since Ellway's straightened up his attitude (or be run out of Denver on a rail!) and given Tebow the props he so rightly deserves, I'm excited to see how next season kicks off.

But for now . . . . GO CARL EDWARDS!!

Crapbooking, er . . . SCRAPbooking

2012-01-09T05:11:00.000-06:00

I started scrapbooking about 12 years ago when I fell in love with Big Daddy. I mean, isn't that what normal people usually do when they fall in love? Start a new expensive, time-consuming hobby to memorialize their budding relationship?

Actually it started with the wedding and the fact that the scrapbooking craze was in high gear. We both kind of wanted to do the scrapbook because we loved taking photos of ourselves. Ok, me not so much. But Big Daddy loves the camera and the camera is somewhat fond of him with good lighting.

So anyways, I started the scrapbook with our first date - my firm's annual Christmas party - and continued through the next year or so to our wedding and subsequent move to the country.

Then I opened my own store. Plus got knocked up.

Needless to say, the scrapbooking fell to the wayside. And anyone familiar with scrapbooking knows that once you fall behind, you will NEVER catch up. Eight years later and I have a LARGE plastic lidded bin full of pictures and ticket stubs and newsclippings and Bear artwork to keep me busy through a summer of unemployment. But hopefully it won't come to that.

I was pawing through the bin this weekend when I found a couple of small "pre-templated" scrapbooks I snagged at a clearance sale. One is labeled "Family" and the other is labeled "Travel." I think these two little boogers may help me get a little jumpstart on clearing out that bin.

Plus I have an almost 8 year old assistant to help me!

Roadtrip to Ruidoso, NM

2012-01-03T13:01:00.001-06:00

For the past several years, Big Daddy and I have had good intentions of spending at least part of our Christmas vacation in the mountains of New Mexico. Since we're down here in southern central Texas, we don't get much of the white Christmas that I love so much.

I grew up in the Panhandle of Texas where the wind blows more than in Chicago and the snows can fall up to 20 inches deep. Some of my most favorite memories as a kid are those including fun times playing in the snow. Nevermind that my extremities were numb and my lips were blue. I loved it.

So this year I was determined to make it happen for us. I mean, for crying out loud. My kid is 7 years old and has yet to actually experience enough snow to make a snowball, much less snowboard or go sledding. With that motivation in mind, we made our plans to travel to Ruidoso for the week between Christmas and New Years.

Despite the 9 hour long travel, we enjoyed every minute of it. We only had one bad restaurant experience - the food sucked - and lots of fun activities. We went sledding, snowboarding and tubing. The Bear is a NATURAL on the snowboard. I think he only fell over twice and once was because Big Daddy knocked him over by accident. Big Daddy's snowboarding experience was not quite so positive. But hey! He tried and I'm proud of that. Me? I was running the camera.

We also went on a sleigh ride through the Upper Canyon. The pair of big Persheron (?) Mules that pulled the sleigh were Judy and Jane. Big sweet beautiful girls. It was so very cool riding along with the only sound being their clop clop clopping hooves and the jingle of the bells on their harness. Loved it!

But we did make the decision that we will travel the extra distance next Christmas to have our winter fun in Red River, NM. It's our home away from home and we really like the way Red River is laid out. It's very small and everything is within walking distance. Literally. Nothing is more than 10 blocks away.

Ruidoso is very spread out and despite our centrally located hotel, we had to travel by auto to almost every place we went. Not to mention the ski area is about 16 miles outside of town. We like to park our truck and not get back in it til time to pack up and come back to Texas.

Still. Mountains are mountains and they were beautiful and white and we had a wonderful time.

Believe

2011-12-19T15:03:00.000-06:00

My Bear, at 7 years old, still believes that Santa Claus is keeping tabs on him and whatever good/bad he does will have a direct impact on what will be under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. So we always make sure to only see Santa ONCE a year in order to avoid the awkward

"What would you like for Christmas, young man?"
"Santa, I told you last week at the mall. Don't you remember? Dad! Why doesn't Santa remember me?!"

A neighboring town across the lake does a "Walk of Lights" every year and they have a great Santa.

Here they are going over The List:

And the annual photo op with smiles:

Merry Christmas, y'all!!!

Hot Crystal & Her Clown: A Christmas Story

2011-12-15T08:40:00.002-06:00

I could've sworn I blogged about this particular Christmas memory back when it happened but I can't find it in the archives so . . . . if it's a repeat, keep reading. It's still funny as hell.

Back at Christmas 2007, my Bear was only 3 years old but already blessed with an impressive and entertaining vocabulary. And to this day he still cracks us up with some of the comments he makes.

But let's go back to 2007. You'll need a little background since it's been a while and our circumstances have changed. At the time, Big Daddy was the Sheriff of our home county. As such, he was well acquainted with the local outlaws and persons of interest. One of said locals was a young lady (mid-20s) by the name of Crystal Crutcher.* Crystal was not exactly, shall we say, particular about the guys she got hooked up with nor about her personal appearance and/or hygiene. Crystal's brother, as luck would have it, married a gal by the name of Crystal, too. So now there were two Crystal Crutchers. The second Crystal was actually a somewhat pretty young lady that took care with her appearance and with her two new, um, attributes so generously purchased for her by her new husband, she cleaned up purty good.

So, in general conversation, what's a cop to do in order to keep the regularly tagged Crystal of interest identified separately from the mostly law-abiding attractive sister-in-law?

Well, in telling me about something that the rougher Crystal was involved in, Big Daddy gave her the moniker "Skank Crystal." One thing led to another and we before we knew it we were referring to Skank Crystal and Hot Crystal, in order to identify them separately.

Shortly before Christmas 2007, Hot Crystal had some yard decorations in front of her house that were of the inflatable and lighted variety. She had a Christmas tree and a Santa Claus and she also had a big inflatable snowglobe with a snowman inside of it. Considering the time of year, it was usually coming on dark whenever me and Bear would be driving home from daycare and we always drove past Hot Crystal's house since it was on our route to our house. Keep in mind also that he referred to the snowman as a "clown" - even though I tried to correct him, he had a hard time remembering "snowman."

So one evening we were driving by and Hot Crystal had not turned on her inflatable Christmas decorations and it was probably the second or third day in row that we drove by and nothing was going on. Bear, sitting securely strapped in his carseat in the backseat of my truck, asked me why the decorations weren't working. I distinctly remember saying, "Well, honey, I guess she just hasn't plugged them in yet tonight."

*silence*

Then suddenly he shouts:

"HOT CRYSTAL!!! PLUG IN YOUR CLOWN!!!!'

*Actual names have been changed to protect the "innocent until proven guilty but still stupid" regardless of the law's definition.

Family Christmas Picture

2011-12-13T14:27:00.000-06:00

(blank)

The freaking cord to my practically new camera is DOA and for some crazy reason the pictures stored to the CAMERA! and not to the SD CARD! so now I have no way to get our picture OFF THE FREAKING CAMERA! for our annual Christmas card!

oy.

"Nobody likes change . . . " - Ross Geller

2011-12-01T19:08:00.000-06:00

So I've decided to shake things up a little. I've changed the name and the look of my blogspace. I have no idea why.

Maybe part of it is because I am no longer a city girl living in the country. I lost my city manners long ago and a trip to a local courthouse today only enforced how not in the city we are out here. Somebody needs to send the "What Not to Wear" crew out here . . . .

But I'm not living in the city again either, we're kind of subrural. And I'm feeling more like a country girl who drives a truck and rides 4wheelers and wears boots 5 days out of 7 . . . wait.

I am a country girl.

Hey somebody hold my beer . . . . y'all watch this!!

The Speed of Life

2011-11-30T13:02:00.000-06:00

I'm sure that title has been put to good use more than once by some author or other to make big bucks in the published world but I'm using it anyways.

It seems like just last week I was out here posting a blog and catching up with others but apparently not. It's been MONTHS since I've been out here. And that does not make me happy.

Wanna know why?

Because that means that life is just flying by and I don't seem to have a handle on catching the moments when they happen. I still can't believe it's been almost 3 years since we relocated after the Husband's lost re-election. But it still seems like a whole other lifetime ago.

The Bear is in 2nd grade already talking about the 3rd. He is testing for his green belt in karate this week. His soccer team got 2nd place last week for the season. We are two weeks into owning a pig named Olivia that he will be showing at the stock show in January. Then baseball starts in March.

Whew! But I guess being busy with an active and outgoing kid is better than sitting around watching reruns on tv and increasing my imprint on the sofa cushions.

We've increased our "travel" calendar to include a week in the mountains for skiing and snowboarding at Christmas. So along with the two weeks in summer and the one week in May, four weeks of vacation a year is something to appreciate. And I do.

I hope the next time I'm out here it's not months down the road but only a few days or maybe a week.

And there's CHRISTMAS to get ready for!!!!!

Others They Got None

2011-08-11T13:06:00.000-05:00

Enough of the pissing and moaning. I'm over it. A couple of things didn't work out as planned and I find it is so much easier to just say "At this point I really don't even care."

Reverse psychology works every time, dontcha know?

We're getting geared up for a new school year around here: 2nd grade! And if you weren't already aware, 2nd grade is much much more difficult than 1st grade. Know how I know? Because my soon-to-be-2nd-grader told me so.

Anyhoo, I'm going to start working on see more humor in the stuff life throws our way and when I do, I'll be sure to post it out here for all to enjoy.

It's Not that I'm Not Grateful. . .

2011-07-22T15:52:00.000-05:00

because I'm really not.

We got back from two wonderful weeks in the mountains of northern New Mexico and this has been my first week back to work.

It blows.

Don't get me wrong. I am very grateful/lucky/cursed to have a job (even though it pays what I made in Dallas in 1994) and I would much rather have it than deal with unemployment and foodstamps.

But going on vacation away from the infernal Texas heat only brings into brilliant focus what is wrong with our life. Currently, we cannot even go outside and play with our son for fear of heatstroke or dehydration. And this summer is not all that unusual for us Texans as it is for northeasterners and northerners. The drought situation comes around here every few years or so. The last "nice" summer we had was in 2008. It rained frequently and the temp barely made it to 95° a couple of days.

While we were on vacation, we played outside EVERY SINGLE day! If we weren't riding the 4wheelers, we were hiking. If we weren't hiking, we were fishing. If we weren't fishing, we were in town walking all over the place and playing at the playground. Just DOING STUFF as a family.

With this freaking heat, we pretty much hang out at the house in our pajamas in the a/c. Day in and day out.

I WANT MORE LIFE!!!! And it's NOT to be found inside the house every single day of summer!!!!!

Something is going to change.

I'm Too Excited to Sleep!!!

2011-06-27T14:50:00.000-05:00

We're only 5 short days away from our vacation in the cool mountains of New Mexico. We'll be heavy two new Polaris 4wheelers this trip and so there's some extra excitement of the testosterone variety.

We've been hammered the last few weeks with 95° plus degree temperatures and today we are hovering at the 100° right now. So a nice two week break from the heat is going to be very very welcome.

Not much other news going on with us. Enjoying the summer break away from school and constant shuttling to and fro with extracurricular activities. We fully intend to rev back up once school starts in the fall but for now we are all about life off the clock.

Cheers!

Wow.

2011-05-10T14:53:00.000-05:00

Just realized one of the blogs I have enjoyed reading just went to "invited readers only."

Ok.

umm . . . . get over yourself.

Road Trip!

2011-04-12T11:43:00.001-05:00

Since we moved to the lake two years ago, we have been talking about taking a quick trip to the coast so the Bear can see the ocean. Plus there is the Texas State Aquarium and the USS Lexington to see while we are there.

We've been knocked off tracks a few times so we haven't been able to make the coast trip happen but we're making it happen now. I just reserved a teeny tiny itsy bitsy beachfront condo for a few days next month and we're gonna spend our time enjoying the beach and the sites and hopefully some really great fresh seafood.

And if you've been thinking about a getaway but need to do it on a small budget, check out Vacation Rentals by Owner. The rates are usually less (sometimes tax free!) and the accommodations are nicer simply because the owners use the place too so they like to keep it nice for themselves.

I'll post some pics when we get back!

You Don't Come First Anymore!!!

2011-03-29T10:59:00.001-05:00

I'm going to vent a little bit about the job.

In the course of business, my office handles CPS (Child Protective Services) cases. On the majority of cases we are appointed as attorney ad litems for children meaning we represent the child's interests in the court proceedings. CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) acts as the "ground troups" since CPS caseworkers are so overloaded. CASA is the very critical "filler" to keep even one child from "falling through the cracks."

I'm not even going to attempt to give any of these parents the benefit of the doubt. Mainly because I haven't seen a single one that deserved to be p***ed on if they were on fire, much less more opportunity to keep their children in abusive, neglectful and miserable, most times squalid, conditions.

The majority of these parents are hardcore drug addicts. Every once in a while we will run across a parent who is just plain lazy/miserable and could care less about their children being happy and healthy. Believe me . . . there are children in every single community in this world who are either being abused and/or neglected. This crap does not discriminate along economic, race, religious, etc lines. Although you will find almost every child of a drug addict being neglected. Feeding their addiction is the addict's number one priority. Feeding the kids? Not so much.

Which brings me to my job complaint for today.

We started out two years ago representing a little 3 year old girl (Leila) and her 8 month old half brother (Will). CPS was contacted to intervene due to neighbors noticing the lack of care they were receiving from their meth-addled mother. Both children are the products of "transactions" with two different dealers. At the time of Leila and Will's rescue (really? what else do I call it?), their mother was pregnant again and still strung out on meth. After the baby (Esteban) was born in late 2009, he was immediately rescued too. Then in late 2010, another baby (Zina) was born. She was rescued also. All four children are now in the care of two different families with Leila and Will with one family and the two babies with another family. CASA reports that all children are happy and healthy with only Leila having some dental problems.

You'd think that the mother would work her butt of to get clean since she's been screaming since day one that she "lives for her babies, her babies mean the world to her, she can't live without her babies!!"

Horse hockey.

She can't live without her meth and when push comes to shove, SHE comes first. She's gonna get her fix and everybody else can go to hell. But the whole while she is screaming to get her kids back and how much she loves them.

I am so sick of these piece of poo parents who don't give a rat's behind about their kids when they have them. But they get all offended and indignant when someone comes and takes better care of the kids. Actually gives the kids a chance at being happy and healthy. Hey! Wait a minute!! Actually gives these kids a chance at being . . . . . a KID!!!

Let's not forget the case about the7 year old girl who routinely cleaned up her mom's vomit and got herself to school for almost 2 weeks before the teacher realized that the little girl was dealing with something pretty bad at home and instigated an investigation. Luckily that little girl was re-united with her Dad who had divorced the mother because of her alcoholism and drug abuse but the court gave custody to the mother. Once the court did that, the mother made it dang near impossible for the Dad to get his visitation. Go figure.

Today we got notice that one of the drug addict parents wants to relinquish their parental rights.

You know what? I couldn't agree more.

A Wish to Live Forever

2011-03-28T15:19:00.001-05:00

I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish.

"I want to live forever!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry. I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that," she answered.

Smiling slyly, I then said: "Fine. I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their . . . .!"

As she narrowed her eyes and tightened her mouth, she replied, "You crafty bas . . . . . . ."

Two Dog (or Kid) Theory

2011-03-25T15:03:00.000-05:00

Reading another great blog today wherein Oilfield Trash referenced his 10% Theory, made me recall our "Two Dog Theory."

As some of you may know, we have a 9 year old rescue dog named Hank. He is of the most handsome persuasion (he made me write that) and we loves him much. Since we got Hank right after we moved to the country with lots of extra acres to spare, we didn't hesitate to rescue another pup from our local shelter. Roger was of the very sweet and lovable, though particularly dim, persuasion. Roger was with us for several months when one evening he and Hank went venturing off our property. Now, what two 50+ lb. dogs could not accomplish on our multiple acres that they had to actually travel an extended amount of time to just get clear of, we have no idea. But they did and in the wee hours of the morning Hank came home. Alone.

After an extensive search and even a lost pet notice published in the local newspaper, we never saw Roger Dog again. It was a very sad time at our house. Even Hank seemed a somewhat forlorn that his little buddy was missing. He had to chase squirrels and Joe Kitty all by himself. And we all know how un-fun that can be.

Fast forward to the next year. Big Daddy's brother in the next county had a yellow Lab momma with a litter of pups. They had found homes for all but one. Afterwards we figured out why. But by that time I was in lurve with Cecil and there was no way I wasn't going to take him home with me.

Cecil was of the solid like concrete persuasion and only slighter smarter. He was BIG for a pup and we wondered if we could afford to feed him and Hank plus the horses. But he was very very lovable and he LOVED riding in the truck. We had to park the truck outside the fence when he was out so he wouldn't tackle the truck trying to jump in the back. We knew we couldn't afford to add auto body bills to an already ginormous dog food bill.

When Cecil was about 10 months old (and 80+ lbs), he had a terrible seizure. We rushed him to the vet and after a very close brush with death and several IVs of medicine, he was stablized after two days and had a positive prognosis. The vet speculated that it was either poison (set out by neighboring ranchers to kill ground hogs) or a genetic condition that would require daily medication. It was a wait and see situation. After a couple of restful days at home, Cecil perked up and ate his breakfast for the first time in 4 days. We thought he was going to make it. The next night, he suffered another really bad seizure. It only lasted a couple of minutes and when he came to, he seemed exhausted. We decided to take him back to the vet. He walked himself to a corner of the yard and laid down. He wouldn't come to us when we beckoned him. So we left him alone and checked on him periodically through the night. He was breathing and sleeping so we thought getting to the vet the next morning would be okay. Hank was by his side the whole time.

The next morning dawned and before I got out of my pajamas I went to check on Cecil. He was gone. As in left the property. Hank was, too. Part of me was hoping Cecil was fine and they went off on an adventure (which they knew they weren't supposed to do) but it still made me feel relief that he was going to be okay after all.

Hank came home the next day. Alone. We never saw Cecil again.

Some time after that I picked up a scared, skinny little yellow Lab female in the middle of the highway. I brought her home and fed her. Posted a notice in the newpaper about a found dog. No responders. So she became Macy. About 3 weeks later Macy went off with Hank.

Hank came back home later. Alone.

September 2008: a friend's Mastiff had 9 pups and not enough dinner plates. So "Bart" got kicked out of the kitchen. We bottle fed him and got him nice and fat and happy. The best thing about Bart was that you could not talk him out of the house or yard away from the food bowl if your life depended on it. We were confident that Bart would not be persuaded to follow Hank out on one of his "two go out, one comes back" excursions.

December 2008: We came home to one dog in the yard. Hank.

So, along with witnessing the fun (?) our friends have with multiple children and our own luck with multiple dogs, we are true believers of the One Dog Theory. We judiciously applied it to our family plan. One kid also.

We have made it abundantly clear to Hank that he is NOT considered an adequate supervisor for the child.

I'd Do All Over Again

2011-03-23T12:30:00.001-05:00

Today is a pretty special day. Why it's not being widely publicized and on all the morning shows, I don't understand. Apparently rebels in Libya trying oust a dictator is important or sumthin.

But for those of you not in the know, today marks 9, count 'em, NINE years since me and Big Daddy took a stroll down the aisle of matrimony and made honest folk of each other. This anniversary is noteworthy if for no other reason than beng married to me is his longest relationship on record. Second of course being the years shared with Hanker Dog.

A LOT has happened since that bright spring day in March 2002:

We sold almost everything we owned and quit really good paying jobs to move to the country.
We found out that living good has nothing to do with the numbers.
We endured a vicious political campaign to ultimately see Big Daddy declared Sheriff of the county.
We ventured off into gift store ownership that ended with a tough lesson learned.
We welcomed a beautiful baby Bear into our lives on April 14, 2004.
We got horses!!! and sheep and a 127-year old donkey named Peso.
We went through another vicious libelous political campaign that ended in defeat.
We questioned seven years of sincere, well-intentioned decisions.
We almost went under financially. Almost.
We started over.

So basically, we've been living life.

And loving every minute of it together.

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Gettin it for FREE!! Yay Me!

2011-03-18T13:02:00.002-05:00

You can count me among the technologically challenged who could not care less about the iPhone or the Kinect gaming system and all that other hoo-ha.

I use my cell phone for, SURPRISE!, phone calls. A lot of times I must resort to texting since the majority of my family/friends/enemies would really rather not actually speak on the phone.

Big Daddy, on the hand, is counting down the days until his current crap phone (brand new Crackberry) is due for it's annual upgrade so that he can get his sweaty paws on the newest fastest most awesomest iPhone. Of course, at this time we have no idea which iPhone it will be seeing as how a new one comes out on the market every Tuesday. But he doesn't care . . . . he's just anxiously awaiting October 11th. D-Day. Discontinue Day for the Crackberry.

I have to give him props though. My upgrade date was last week. I still have my old phone (actually his old phone). The flip phone that he got brand new in the summer of 2009. I pathetically coveted that phone. Because it had a great keyboard and larger than normal screen. Almost like a little mini laptop. I was stuck with the freebie phone that, even when it authentically got stolen, I HAD TO PAY $40 FREAKING BUCKS TO GET IT REPLACED!!!! But as soon as Big Daddy's first upgrade date came due, he cavalierly tossed aside the beautiful mini laptop for the Crackberry. And me and Mini have been very happy since.

But alas . . . Mini's warranty went out 6 months ago. And it's as if the very life has slowly ebbed from Mini's lithium-ion polymer battery. Mini shuts off in mid-text. Mini shuts off with a full charge. Mini shuts off during the wee hours of the night so that the alarm fails to wake me.

So . . . Mini is history.

Went online yesterday and for the low low low price of ZILCH (and an additional two year contract).

I am giddily expecting this little beauty to arrive some time next week!!! OH! did I mention free shipping, too!??!!!!

Mathletics 101

2011-03-17T17:00:00.000-05:00

I'm sure juggling a budget is nothing new to anyone out here in the blogosphere, unless a lottery winner is reading and we all know how those folk piss off every cent before even glancing at the balance book.

I have spent the better part of the last three workdays hammering out a projected income/expense spreadsheet for the family. Apparently living like Rockefellers has not worked to our advantage and now, in anticipation of our annual summer vacation, we're going to have to do some serious belt-tightening to at least cover the expected fuel costs. First casualty is going to be those silly expenditures such as toothpaste and deodorant.

No, really. We're getting it down to the dollar here, people. When you think about it, $0.58333333 is just an assinine amount of money to spend on a roll of toilet paper. No pun intended.

But during all the eye-crossing number-crunching, I think I have maybe initiated a new way for our little family to view our income and expenses. And if my new budget is anywhere near successful, we gonna have us a little celebratory happening. Like the purchase of a big ticket item we've been eye-ballin' for a couple of years.

And so long as my retirement plan of winning a multi-million dollar sweepstakes pans out, we're good.

Flashback: Aaron Watson @ Bertram Smokehaus

2011-03-07T11:44:00.001-06:00

First let me say that I am NOT in a good mood about this blog. It's pretty much a slam but it has also been a beeyotch to get posted. I did it TWICE this week and both times gremlins booted me off before I could save it. Crap.

And if you think that is any indication that I need to be sweeter in this post or it will get kicked back too, you're wrong. I'm determined to be as gripey as I wanna be about this particular issue.

Here goes. We went to the Bertram Smokehaus this past Saturday night to see Aaron Watson. He was TERRIFIC. He sounded great (when I could hear him over the crowd noise) and he was an absolute doll when he came off stage to sign autographs and take pictures with his fans. I definitely want to see him again. Only not at Bertram.

Enough about Aaron. Let's get to the b***h-fest. The show was advertised to start at 7pm. The opening act didn't come on until after 8:30. That makes this next fact even more aggravating. There was NO PLACE to sit. The two picnic tables to the side of the stage were "reserved" so the rest of us were left to stand for 4-5 hours. No where in the advertisements did it say anything about "bring your own furniture." Except for the complete lack of seating, the venue is really nice. It is a patio next to an old hotel/restaurant (which I will talk more about in a minute) with a gazebo stage. There is also a covered pavilion on the other side of the patio with a big bar and some pool tables. Great set up for outdoor music. And the weather was beautiful.

What was it about this place that has me disinterested in ever going there again? The crowd.

I have never in my life been at a public event where people were so totally and completely rude. Not only were they SO LOUD that you could barely hear Aaron singing, standing in line and waiting to be next was apparently not something any of them were familiar with either. There was one guy I seriously wanted to punch in the jewels - I had been standing in line for 20 WHOLE MINUTES when he walks up, winks at the bargirl and gives her his order. WTH? Not a single gentleman in the place (except for my husband and probably Aaron).

The third time, yes third time, I went to get a drink, I finally went in to the restaurant's bar to stand in line. It was a little bit long but the bartenders seemed to be keeping it moving and orderly. I walked in and got in line, a girl got in line behind me (volunteer firewoman hence Fire Girl), then Drunk Dude came in behind her, and finally Blue Turd (asshole wearing a blue shirt) got in line. I strike up a conversation with Drunk Dude and Fire Girl and we start talking about the building. Apparently Drunk Dude is a history buff because he knew all sorts of stuff about the old building. Okay, I'm no scholar but the building was pretty much laid out like a big open restaurant (saloon?) with the second floor landing going around the room with about 12 rooms upstairs. There was a big double staircase at the end of the room and a big long mirror on one wall. Seeing as how the building sat next to the railroad tracks, I assumed it was originally built as a hotel/restaurant or saloon/hotel or something like that. Well, Drunk Dude dissuaded me of that particular notion right quick. "No no no, this here was origly a yumber yard." Yumber yard? Oh, he meant lumber yard. Okay, I'm with ya - drunkbonics. So I asked Drunk Dude, "But what about the rooms upstairs? This really looks like it was built to be a hotel with a restaurant or saloon." He blinked at me like five times then said, "Noooooooooooo, it was a YUMBER YARD."

Okay, okay. It was a yumber yard. Because they always kept lumber upstairs in little rooms back then. Whatever.

Fire Girl and I just kind of look at each other. He's drunk but short fat and belligerent. We like him. Then I notice that all of sudden, Blue Turd is standing right next to me. EXCUUUUUUUUUUSE ME?!!!??! I. Do. Not. Think. So.

"Where do you think you're going?" I ask of Blue Turd.

"I'm just standing in line."

"And you're gonna stand your a** at the back of the line where you came in at." I was in NO MOOD to deal with this poo for a THIRD time.

Once I got through cussin him, I turned around and looked at the couple in front of me. They looked at me like, "Oh no, don't make eye contact with her. She's insane, she's insane. Should we go? I think we should go. Let's go."

I just smiled at them and calmly said, "I have stood in line tonight for a total of about 45 minutes and I have yet to get a drink because of jerks like him slitherin around and trying to cut in line. I really need a drink. Don't you think I need a drink?"

They both vigorously nodded in agreement: Yes yes yes you need a drink.

I thought so.

When I look back at Drunk Dude swaying behind me, he's giving me that wide open eyeballs rolling around look that says, "I just came in for a beer. I don't even know you people."

When I make it up to the bar, Drunk Dude taps me on the shoulder and says, "I think you mighta scarred him. I dunno where he went."

Where'd who go? Oh, gee. Looks like Blue Turd got outta line and left. Nice.

So I get my drink, go back outside and stand next to the husband for another 2.5 hours and finally get my picture with Aaron.

I'm blaming the rude crowd on the fact that 99% of them were from UT. Liberal outhouse. Guns Up!

Funniest thing of the night: Aaron's sound board had one of those big red Easy buttons from Staples sitting right in the middle of it. Hilarious.

Leave It!

2011-03-03T10:59:00.001-06:00

Having stayed at home these last two weekdays with a sick little Bear, I have gotten a bellyful of daytime tv. It was so bad at one point that I actually found myself watching "It's Me or the Dog" on AnimalPlanet. Who knew AnimalPlanet aired such comedy?

The episode I caught was about a misbehaving canine (say it ain't so!) who expressed himself via gnawing on furniture, household appliances, and even the house itself.

So the trainer comes in and does her training thing, part of which is teaching the "leave it!" command to the dog. Who, by the way named Carl, ruled the roost. Just when it looked like he was gonna put his paw down about learning any silly rules from some British chippy, he actually obeyed the command. The trainer informed the owners that Carl was not gnawing out of "separation anxiety" (there was a second non-gnawing sweet natured dog in the house too) but was doing so out of boredom. All he had to learn was that his toys were for gnawing, Dog #2 and the house (with its contents) were not.

So after learning the new command, the trainer set up cameras and speakers in the house and had the owners leave. Within 2 minutes of being left in the house, Carl ambles into the living room and starts gnawing on the coffee table.

As soon as he does, the trainer's voice booms out of the speakers: "LEAVE IT!!"

Carl stops gnawing. Lifts his head up and looks around. I am totally not kidding when I say the look on his face was: "What the h---?"

Dog #2? He was laying on his bed nearby, just snoozing a little. With "LEAVE IT!" still rattling the rafters, Dog #2's rear end can be seen fishtailing out of the living room.

It was hilarious. Ah, daytime tv.

I think I mighta lost a couple of IQ points on that one.

and THAT'S why we give up and eat a whole box of Ho-Hos!

2011-02-27T10:27:00.000-06:00

Yeah, you can count me among the unwashed masses that routinely make unsuccessful attempts at fitness. So there.

I'm one of those that enjoys working or playing at something that is physically exerting and thereby getting my "workout" without actually calling it "exercise." Working with horses or out in the yard or playing volleyball, those are the things I enjoy doing that give a pretty good workout while I'm having fun. Last weekend me and Big Daddy spent 4 hours going through stuff from our old storage building, throwing stuff out, re-organizing and re-packing in new boxes, then lugging said new boxes up to the attic with its newly laid flooring.

4 hours. Multiple 20 and 30 lb boxes. Temperature in the attic: 85°+. All of that equals a lot of sweat and muscle participation.

Now, on top of that, I recently dusted off the old treadmill in an effort to shed a few pounds that sneaked up behind me when I wasn't looking. And when I say "behind" I mean my ass.

So, for eight days straight I was walking (at a brisk pace, mind you) 1.5 miles on the treadmill. Except the one day we spent working in the attic. One the ninth day, with much positive anticipation, I happily marched myself over to the scale to weigh in and see how much havoc I had wreaked on those extra pounds. I confidently expected to see many of them missing as a casualty of my determination and fortitude.

One pound.

WTH? I can lose one pound WHILE I SLEEP!

But a dear friend (they'll say anything to make us happy, won't they?) told me, "It's cause you're building muscle . . . you're not going to see a drop in the scale."

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I'm muscling up.

STOP TALKING TO ME!

2011-02-24T10:06:00.000-06:00

Here's the deal: At work, I don't like talking to people who have a problem that I cannot help them with.

If their problem is my responsibility, I am glad to help and happy to be of service in any way that I can. But if someone has a problem and it is not within my scope of knowledge, the first thing I want to do is get them connected with someone who DOES know how to help them.

It pisses me off to no end to have someone say, "Yeah, this and that and that happened and what can be done about it?"

My response: "So-and-so is the one handling that matter, let me get them for you."

Them: "Well, such and such and this and that . . ."

Me: "Sir, I have no clue as to this situation. Let's get So-and-so since he is the one you need to talk to."

Them: "Well, more blah blah blah . . . . "

Me: "STOP TALKING TO ME!!!"

It is becoming more and more painfully obvious to me that I do not need to be interacting with the public in general.

To Be or Not To Be: Mental

2011-02-22T13:39:00.000-06:00

Maybe some of you can commiserate with me. Or maybe I'm the lucky one and none of you have the vaguest idea about what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about kRaZy people. Apparently I have received more than my quota and I would like to return a couple, thankyouverymuch.

I will be honest though. For the most part, I can control the amount of kRaZy within my vicinity by simply limiting its access to me, my family, and our telephone numbers. But there's always some kRaZy that slips through due to the sheer level of kRaZy involved.

I am related to kRaZy by marriage so . . . unless I am feeling like Big Daddy's usefulness has run out, I'm pretty much stuck with it. If we're not putting out one psychological fire, we're putting out another. And it is constant maintenance on relationships that kRaZy habitually gnaws on like old bleached out bones. There is never a shortage of flammable material when kRaZy's around because if nothing is there, kRaZy just makes it up! Fun for all.

But there is an upside. Whenever kRaZy doesn't elicit any kind of response . . . I know there is misery at kRaZy's house. And kRaZy isn't smart enough to do the math.

ooh . . . . look! More kRaZy heading this way!

Flashback: Kevin Fowler @ HarperFest

2011-02-19T18:38:00.000-06:00

We traveled to Harper to see Kevin Fowler play a benefit concert for the Harper Community Park. It was totally worth the trip and I definitely want to see him again. He and his band sounded great and played for about 2 hours. Only bad thing was he didn't play "Get Along." Big Daddy is convinced that Kevin knows me and wrote that song about me. It's my theme song these days.

But let's get started, shall we?

I'm thinking the evening is going to be a winner all around when I score a front row parking spot right outside the park. That is until I tagged the tree when I was backing up. Perfect. Because right now I am working on trading up to a bigger truck and a jacked up tailgate always increases the trade-in value. Right, Ragina?

Anyhoo, I park it and leave it. Too late to worry about it now. Besides, there was a long ass line to get in to the park to see Kevin. Me and Big Daddy (being the brainiacs that we are) remembered to bring our big plastic adirondack lawnchairs to sit in. So we get in line with our big ass non-folding white chairs and start inching toward the gate. It takes for friggin ever because security is checking every ID - - Great. Mine was in the truck. Like 50 yards back. Screw it. I'll take the big ass black magic marker "M" on my hand if I have to. I ain't goin back for the ID.

So we finally get to the gate with cash and Big Daddy's ID in hand ready to transact. The security guy takes one look at our big white chairs and just waves us through. Oh yeah. Only old farts think to bring big plastic white chairs to a kick ass concert in the park. Take note, younguns. If you want to skate past security, just bring your lawnchair. It adds like 20 years to your appearance.

We get in, score some good real estate about 25 feet from stage right. Cool. All is good until Kevin comes out. Like a big dark cloud rolling through, the biggest guy and his biggest gal park they big asses RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. So we relocate to about 20 feet further stage right. Still a good view of the stage but closer to the speakers - yeow.

One highlight to the evening was when some drunk idiot decided to pick a fight with somebody in the crowd about 5 feet from the stage. Kevin stopped singing just long enough to humiliate the guy and tell him he was about to get his ass kicked by 2,000 of Kevin's buddies. Priceless. Nothing quite like having somebody like Kevin Fowler call you a dick over the load speakers.

After the show, we stood in line so I could get my picture with Kevin. Got it but I look seven kinds of WASTED so that one won't get posted. I may call Kevin and have him meet me at GlamourShots so I can get a decent picture of us together.

It's the least he can do.

COOLEST MOMENT OF THE SHOW: Kevin and his band starting playing the opening riffs to Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" then started playing a rowdy version of "Loose Loud and Crazy"!

Whatever Makes Me Feel Good

2011-02-17T12:54:00.000-06:00

Over on fb (facebook for those of you non-ADHD types who can actually wait to see what anyone is up to and you don't require instant gratification), a friend posted something about her husband's very special Valentine's Day gift to her.

He made a donation to her favorite charity in her honor. I LOVE THAT!

We have been doing donations for our loved ones (adults and families, the kids still got some goods besides a Thank You for the donation card) at Christmas. I mean, really. At our age what could we possibly get that we don't already have? Forget the big ticket items we all have on our "someday" list. I'm talking about things that we really need or are reasonably nice that we would like to have. Maybe I'm different but I don't like waiting for my birthday or anniversary to get what I want. I get it when I decide I need to have it. That part of my personality really pisses Big Daddy off. He says I ruin holidays for him. (Which is bullshirt because you can practically see the sparkles in his eyes when he's opening his own gifts.)

And in honor of Black Jack's (my Dad) 71st birthday yesterday, I made a donation to SPCA International for their No Buddy Gets Left Behind mission. Black Jack lurves the puppy dogs. And SPCA is very special to our hearts because our own Hanker Dawg was a rescue from the Hill Country SPCA in July 2002. He is the second longest relationship Big Daddy has ever had. (First is me.)

So, the next time someone is celebrating a milestone or special occasion of any kind, a donation in their name to a worthwhile cause is ALWAYS a good choice.

Believe me . . . YOU'LL be feeling like the honored one.

Country Girl Movie Review

2011-02-15T12:45:00.000-06:00

"Life as We Know It"

I wasn't expecting much from this movie - just the general romantic comedy with the always cute Katherine Heigl and the frat guy hottie Josh Duhamel.

But I was so wonderfully surprised. It's a very straight to your heart kind of movie with its subject matter in that it reminds us that while tragedy happens, life moves on and that we are allowed to laugh again. I think as parents we all try to keep our minds from going down that path of "what if something happened to us?" I'm not going to spill any details but it is a great movie. Be prepared to laugh and cry.

Also, another reason to love the movie is fantastic soundtrack. It includes one of my all time favorites:

Common Sense = Anti-Education?

2011-02-15T08:52:00.000-06:00

Although technically I don't have a dog in this hunt, I still have a very much loved sister-in-law whose family does. As do many other people.

The Austin ISD is looking to cut approximately 1,000 teaching positions and close 9 schools. Keeping in mind that Texas (most especially the Austin/Houston/Dallas-Fort Worth metro areas) have been the recipient of the majority of out-of-state relocators and also keeping in mind that the AISD Superintendent salary is $350,000+ and the median AISD teacher salary is $38-42K, I find this a ludicrous resolution to AISD's
"emergency financial" situation.

When did gutting become the best answer to healing two broken legs?

Here's my thoughts, and we will also keep in mind that I am not proclaiming to be any kind of educational/ financial/mathematical czar:

First, let's start with that Superintendent salary. Right off the bat I see about $200K that can be sliced right off the top there.

Second, I'm willing to bet that the majority of those 1,000 teachers would be agreeable to some type of "cut salary now, review the district's ability to bump it back up in ___ years." The same would go for benefits: get a higher deductible on the district's health insurance so the premiums would be lowered.

There are hundreds, possibly thousands of areas where the district could cut spending TEMPORARILY without having to fire teachers and close schools. And it can start at the bottom. Stop watering school lawns. Big deal if the grass dies. Ask teachers to turn out classroom lights if they have classrooms that are able to have a good source of natural daylight and turn on hallway lights only during class changes. Encourage staff to keep paper usage to a minimum - save the paper for the students' schoolwork. Staff memos and teacher information can be decimated via email or verbally. (I see a HUGE use of paper at my son's school - most of which hits our trash can.)

And this is just the little stuff. The big stuff can come in the form of a moratorium on new construction and special projects, freeze hiring, etc. But I don't think the answer is to fire hundreds of teachers and close schools. I really really don't. I think it will be harder to recover from that kind of action than it would be to recover from hardline money-saving practices implemented temporarily. And when I say temporarily, maybe best case scenario would be 1-2 years and worst case scenario would be 5-6 years.

I don't understand why the same principles that families are forced to apply to their dwindling budgets are not applied to government and business dwindling budgets.

It seems like it's all pretty much about dollars and sense.

Quote of the Day

2011-02-12T19:45:00.001-06:00

"All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen." - - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Snaggle Tooth Valentine

2011-02-11T13:51:00.000-06:00

Last night was the Bear's Valentine concert at school. He was all decked out in his starched jeans, white shirt and red tie. He looked adorable.

And that smile?

Probably worth about $4 grand in orthodontics. oy

Flashback: Trent Willmon @ Gilley's Dallas

2011-02-10T09:14:00.000-06:00

We made it to Gilley's Dallas on Saturday night to see Trent Willmon. He did a great concert and I'm glad I was able to enjoy it (partially) sober.

But let's start at the beginning. The club is in a great location just on the other side of I-35 from downtown Dallas. It was literally right around the curve from our hotel (Hyatt Regency - great stay!). Don't let the hookers and barred-window liquor stores put you off. This location is good because it is in a semi-industrial area so you're not trying to work your way through people traffic or fight the crowds to other clubs. The closest other club is about 2 blocks away in another warehouse. Very cool.

So we parked out back in a huge parking lot with no clue as to where the front door is. There is no front door - the front door is in the back. We should have gotten a good idea of the crowd when we walked past the old guy snoozing in the mini-van parked closed to Trent's bus. Hmmm.

Since Big Daddy seemed to be outweighed by the women walking in ahead of us, the club shoulda been called "Buffalo Stampede." His words, not mine.

When we walked in the dj was playing "Get Down Tonight." Okay. I vaguely remember the 70s when I was 4. Was that a good song back then? Cause it ain't a good song now.

Anyhoo, I'm just gonna tell it like it was. The talent* was piss poor. Not even mediocre. BUT that always makes for good fun for ME! We parked ourselves in front of a bar and about 20 feet from the stage/dancefloor. Perfect. We had a good view of Trent and at the same time we could watch the "All Humiliation Network" on the dance floor.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my sympathy to Trent - I want him to know that he should in NO WAY view his Dallas Gilley's crowd (myself excluded) as any type of indicator as to the attractiveness of his fans. There was Amazon Chick with the wife beater tank top and big fake boobs (apparently to offset the big ass she was carrying around behind her). There was Fake Bake Doris (she had to be at least 50). There was No Groove Gonzo (big honkin nose and no sense of rhythm - so sad). And the fourth member of this lovely quartet was Cowboy Rosa (big hat, big hair, big boobs). And let's not forget the motley crew of badly dressed, badly accessorized, and just plain badly females that were in the place. Ooh. I almost forgot BB (Big Blondie) who never lacked for dancing partners - all of whom were half her size. Literally. Half as tall as her and half as wide. Them little fellas like 'em BIG.

It all got off to a fun start when Gonzo was dancing (and that term is used very loosely herein) and then decided to scootchy across the floor to her compadres for a little sippy sip. Make that slippy slip. Busted her ass right there in front of us. We knew right then it was going to make for a very entertaining evening. Trent didn't stand a chance of keeping our attention. I wish I had kept count of the number of times one of these lovely ladies sat unexpectedly on the dancefloor but there was just no way to keep track of everything. I'm only human for cryin out loud. I have the right to laugh so hard I can't see anything.

I feel very strongly that I need to share with everyone (who didn't have the good fortune to see it for themselves) the actual dancing styles we observed. The most popular of course being the "I'm so good everybody will think I'm a titty dancer just without a pole." Oh for the love of Mike! Almost all of these ladies (large or ugly - it didn't matter) seemed to think that they could dance like Demi Moore in "Striptease." It was like a trainwreck - I couldn't not watch.

This blog is getting entirely too long. So I'm going to try to wrap it up. Big Daddy made a new best friend. Some guy decided he wanted to buddy up. First he was a horse breaker, then he was a tequila shot record holder, then he was a sargeant with the Dallas Police Department. Poor Big Daddy - if there's an idiot in a village, they always find him. He's like a retard magnet. Again, myself excluded.

After the concert, we bough Trent's cookbook (with some killer recipes) and I had my cd case for him to autograph. Seeing as how I was too inebriated to meet and greet with Trent the last time I saw him, I was determined to meet him and get my dadgum picture with him this time. There was some chick with little red horns on her head that kept taking people's cameras from them (Trent's self-appointed official photographer?) and she was trying to put those horns on everybody's head that got their picture taken with Trent. Needless to say when she attempted to put them on me, I almost bitch slapped her back. "Get those things away from me." Big Daddy said a curse word under his breath and Trent looked at her like she was some kind of loser (maybe because she IS). I was fixin to go western on her if she didn't back the **** off. She got the idea when I took my camera away from her and handed it to Big Daddy's new best retarded friend to take the picture.

Got my picture, reminded Trent not to ride horses into bars without rubber shoes, got my picture with the drummer (TOTALLY reminds me of Animal from FraggleRock when he plays), and we headed out.

BUT NOT before Amazon Chick and Cowboy Rosa tried to cop a feel off Big Daddy. He got more boob action right then than in the past year. Just kidding. But they totally molested him. I just smiled.

The ending kicker to the evening was when we were walking out. Amazon Chick, Gonzo, Doris, and Cowboy Rosa were all sitting in the back of the mini van near Trent's tour bus. How sad. Because you know what their intentions were. I was scared. For Trent. Poor fella.

I hope he made it on the bus in one piece and was able to lock the door fast enough.

YEE HAW! Next roadtrip: Kevin Fowler in Helotes!

HEY! You AWAKE?!

2011-02-09T09:12:00.000-06:00

You know how kids will sometimes display a certain trait from an older family member? They'll have the same sense of humor or the same smile, etc?

The Bear has many sweet traits, some of which he inherited from my late Mom. He also inherited one of her more annoying traits.

If he's awake, then ER'BODY better be awake.

I remember being in high school and working a part-time job that did not get me home until 10pm, some times later. During the week, I still had to get up and be at school the next morning. So when Saturday mornings rolled around, I really really really looked forward to sleeping in for a few hours. When left completely alone with my bedroom door closed, I could easily stay asleep until 10 or 11 a.m.

Or so I thought. I never really got the chance to see how late I could actually sleep.

Because my mother would inevitably come banging into my room at 7:30a.m. to start mowing the vacuum cleaner around my bed! Or she would be just outside my window with the weed whacker. One time she even started testing the smoke alarms with the main one outside my door in the hallway. The woman barely allowed the sun to rise before she commenced her racket-inducing activities.

The Bear is completely like his Gomey in that respect. He is an early riser (if he sleeps til 8 a.m. it is noteworthy) and once he is awake, he is full bore AWAKE. And any sleeping that continues after he wakes up will be stopped immediately!

Apparently I am not destined to be a late sleeper despite my numerous attempts.

Prepare for the End, y'all!

2011-02-08T08:31:00.002-06:00

During all of the hullabaloo last week when the majority of Texas was expecting ice and snow, I kept telling Big Daddy that people in the northeast states were probably shaking their heads at us. Our entire state (except the Panhandle which is used to snowy weather) was pretty much preparing for lock down once the expected 1 to 2 inches of snow finally fell.

The northeast has been dealing with multiple FEET of snow yet it barely slows down traffic, much less statewide business.

A friend posted the attached picture on facebook. Apparently someone at TxDOT has a wicked sense of humor. The sign was somewhere on I-35 between Austin and San Antonio.

Super Bowl XLV: A Retrospective

2011-02-07T10:40:00.001-06:00

Since neither me nor Big Daddy had any vested interest in the winner of this year's Super Bowl, we spent much of the game/show critiquing the entertainment/commercials. Although I will say that I was kinda leaning towards the Pack simply because I have some northern cousins who are serious Cheeseheads. I like that it showed Favre that they don't need his waffling ass to make it to the Big Show plus WIN IT.

But I've kinda been rooting for Big Ben, too - - he took a serious beating in the media just for feeling up some hoochie. When a chick files a civil lawsuit before she calls the cops, she hasn't been assaulted. Period. I make this statement after having lived in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex where I witnessed on more than one occasion how grasping females will do damn near anything to get their hands on (or at least get themselves in the line of sight of) a pro ball player. No wonder these huge guys had so many other unknown huge guys with them - the unfamous literally acted as a barrier to the famous. It was pathetic AND entertaining.

Anyways, for all the pre-grame anticipation, the commercials were so-so. The one stand-out to me was the Darth/Volkswagen. LOVED IT. But maybe that's because I'm a mom to a 6 year old boy who loves his super hero/star wars/alien costumes. He has a whole box in the bottom of his closet full of old Halloween costumes and some that we've just picked up off the clearance rack. Just last night during the game he walked past us wearing his ninja costume with gloves and Broncos helmet. We later found out he was watching "Buzz Lightyear's Star Command" and he was being Buzz. If he's not jumping off the bed, he's jumping off the coffee table. If he's not running through the house, he's dragging a 3 foot horse from "corral" to "corral." And when he's not doing that, he's pooting in the dog's face. And I thought Joan Rivers as the new Go Daddy Girl was hilarious. And the teacher driving the Camaro? Pretty awesome.

As for the halftime show, while Big Daddy was obviously impressed with Fergie and her dancing skills but complained about the music, I actually enoyed the TRON halftime show. And, being a big fan of Slash's mad guitar skrills, I was happily surprised to see him make an appearance. Fergie's attempt at a GNL classic? Really wish she wouldn't have done that. I mean, we're all pretty much disenchanted with Axel Rose but there are limits to our contempt. And what the frak was on Will.i.am.'s head? Whatever it was you know it stank afterwards. Ewww.

Supermarket Aisle Rage

2011-02-05T12:32:00.002-06:00

I have moaned and complained about the following issue almost every time I go to the grocery store that yesterday after my weekly grocery trip, Big Daddy said: "Blog about it."

Because we all know how blogging ultimately leads to resolution.

Here's my bitch: the majority of people who walk through the doors of our local food mart either leave all their manners at home or they never had any to begin with. As for the old folks, they apparently just used all theirs up because they are clean out, too.

If they're not parking their cart on one side of the aisle while standing in front of the shelves on the OTHER side of the aisle (thereby blocking the whole width of the aisle), then they are riding your ankles with their cart because you are shopping at a slower rate of speed than they feel is necessary. Uh, sorry. I didn't realize I'd signed up for Survivor: H.E.B.

Yesterday while I was in the frozen food section, I opened a freezer door to grab a couple of bags of broccoli and carrots. While I was BENT OVER some old lady pushes her cart right up against my ass so that once I stood up, I COULD NOT close the door without her backing up. I literally turned in a circle to face her and gave her look like, "WTH? Do you mind?" She ROLLED her eyes, huffed a breath, then pulled her cart back so I could get out and close the freezer door.

Un-freaking-believable. And those old shits expect us to treat them with respect.

I'll do the Parenting, You do the Teaching

2011-02-03T08:56:00.001-06:00

Some folks out there may disagree with me on this particular issue but hey! I'm used to being disagreed with. Whatever.

I have been lucky to have close friends and family members who are teachers. All of them have made the same comment at one time or another: "It is not my job to raise these kids! It is my job to TEACH them."

I couldn't agree more.

Okay, so now we have a Bear in the first grade. He is a kid who likes to socialize and participate in extracurricular activities. We do t-ball, soccer, and karate (but not all at the same time of year) so he keeps pretty busy after school hours.

Every single school day except Fridays, he comes home with a folder full of "homework." I don't have a single thing against homework. I think it is very important that we as parents be involved in what he is learning and interact with him on schoolwork. But here is where my aggravation comes in. This homework takes us upwards of 45 minutes to an hour to complete every school night. HE'S IN FIRST GRADE!

If it only took us 15-20 minutes every evening to go through it and practice his words and spellings and math sums, I would not have a problem at all. But on a regular day after I get off work and pick him up at daycare, we have karate/soccer/or baseball then we get home to eat dinner, clean up the kitchen, get his bath, and then time for him to go to bed at 8:30. In the middle of all this, we might have 1/2 an hour to spend on homework. It makes me mad because I did not sign up for homeschooling but the amount of homework they send home every day is ridiculous.

And I would really hate to do this as a single parent with more than one kid. Maybe even with more than one job.

I am not a bad parent because I want my kid to have some time to wind down and play for a little while when he gets home from his long day. He likes to draw pictures A LOT and he likes his super heroes and his guitar. I know his daily schedule at school. From 7:50am until 3:30pm they get a total of 45 minutes to eat their lunch and play on the playground (weather permitting). If the weather is crappy, they go back to their classrooms and find something to do (so long as it is not loud and 22 six-year-olds are unable to work off some physical energy). During all those daylight hours at THE INSTITUTION OF LEARNING, I expect him to be learning and being taught by *GASP* his TEACHERS!

Because *ALSO GASP* they expect me to be parenting him properly at home so that he is not a disruption to their classrooms.

I'm doing my job but I really wish I could do less of their job.

Finally! Some Cold Weather I Can Get On Board With!

2011-02-02T11:40:00.000-06:00

We hit 14° last night and so far today we are sitting at a balmy 21°.

I LOVE THIS COLD WEATHER!!!

I just wish it had some snow with it. I loves me a couple of feet of frozen precipitation. My truck on the other hand. Not so much. I left work yesterday and cranked it up. I knew it was close to 19° or 20° so when the digital thermostat registered 25° I figured it would drop once the truck had been running for a few minutes.

Nope.

Twenty minutes to get home and it stayed right there at 25°. Apparently the truck was protesting the cold weather and was not going to register one more single degree.

But after a nice cozy night in the garage, the truck stat showed 17° this morning on the way in. I'm still wearing my gloves as I type this post. ;o)

Flashback: City Trippin'

2011-02-01T10:05:00.003-06:00

Even though the Trent Willmon concert and our excursion to Gilley's Dallas was the purpose of the trip to town this past weekend, there were other highlights to our visit to the big city.

First, seeing as how we live down a dirt road surrounded by dirt and pretty much dirt is big part of our lifestyle, I really wanted to get the truck detailed. The biggest reason being that I could pay somebody to do it while I kicked back and ate me some Krispy Kremes. Yes, I said Krispy Kremes.

We pull up to a fairly well known establishment and I tell the greeter guy, "Hey greeter guy, give me the daily special." Okay, here's where me and greeter guy apparently have a separating of the minds. While I'm thinking $24.99 daily special (taking into consideration I'm driving a truck and there's a $5 surcharge for trucks - whatever), greeter guy is thinking a little bigger in the money department.

First he starts of his spiel with, "Well, you got alot of mud on the nerf bars and undercarriage and then I see you have alot alot alot of bugs up front and with that grill guard that's gonna take some time and the auto wash ain't gonna be able to get all that so what we're talkin about here is a hand pre-wash and then run it through the auto wash and then we'll need to probably shampoo those floor mats cause you got alot alot alot of dirt and stuff in there but I'll knock off the shampoo charge if you want to go ahead and do the hand wash."

Did I just buy a condo in Miami? I'm not sure what just happened but okay - hook me up, greeter guy!

He starts writing up the Wash Order Request, Big Daddy unloads the kid and kid stuff and magazines and newspapers, while I unload myself and the Krispy Kremes.

Greeter Guy hands my ticket and quite honestly, I didn't want to look at it. Just go in and pay it - rip it off like a bandaid. Cashier Girl rings me up: $75 BUCKS!!! Okay, so rip a bandaid off a bullet wound. Jeez loooo-weez!

Of course, Big Daddy is about to stroke out. $75 DOLLARS?!!!?? Are you totally and completely SH***ING ME!!??? So I start trying to negotiate with him - "Honey, this truck never gets washed and when we lived in the city we spent $30 a week getting our cars detailed. It's not like we're going to spend a total of $100 washing this truck all year. Chill out."

So while he's getting his blood pressure back under control our little one is enjoying watching the cars and trucks go through the auto wash. Cars and trucks and cars and trucks. But not our truck. So where is it?

104 MINUTES LATER . . . they bring our truck back around. It looks good. Not $75 great, but good enough. Then I get in. There is dust on the dash. What the ****? $75 FLIPPIN DOLLARS AND I STILL HAVE DUST?? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME??!!?

Smirkily Big Daddy says, "Yeah, and did you see the wheels?"

But you know what? I'm okay with it. You know why?

Because my kid left a big fat green booger on their waiting room floor.

Karma. It'll bite you every time.

i-Hilarity

2011-01-30T12:25:00.000-06:00

I don't have an iPhone but my boss does so whenever I update his calendar it jacks with me. Here's a link to a pretty funny site of autocorrect calamity.

Enjoy!

Intolerant Much?

2011-01-29T16:58:00.000-06:00

I find myself amused much of the time and without comprehension some of the time.

Even though I am relatively conservative, I still have a healthy respect for the old motto "Live and let live." Which, for some odd reason, radical liberals tend to think they OWN that motto and the rest of us are barred from using.

I hop around and visit many blogs, most of which are authored by progressive/liberal type individuals. Why do I do this? Because they are funny, intelligent, and most times lovely people. I some times comment on their blogs and it comes as no surprise that more than once we have the "let's agree to disagree" exchange. I don't comment on their blogs to criticize or elicit an argument or war of words, I just comment because the subject is interesting and, OH MY GAWD, I have an opinion to share.

But along with this blog-traveling comes the inevitable frothing at the mouth rabid anti-conservative person who sees it as their one purpose in life to rant about me and my beliefs as if what they say will have any bearing whatsoever on my life or my views. Sometimes the outright hatred for me by someone who has never even met me is just straight up incomprehensible.

I'm kinda feeling like Sarah Palin. Millions of people who have never met her hate her guts. All she did was have a different opinion.

Go figure.

Flashback: Trent Willmon @ Blue Duck's Ice House

2011-01-28T16:01:00.001-06:00

Big plans for the weekend - we are heading to Dallas to see Trent Willmon at Gilley's. Now, we wouldn't be making this trip if things hadn't gone bad the last time we went to see Trent in Llano.

I made the mistake of inviting Ragina and Tammy to join us. At first, things were going good just enjoying the opening act, some cold beverages, and chips with some killer chipotle salsa.

Then things start heading south when Trent comes in. First of all, some idiot sent him into the bar on a horse without rubber shoes. Poor horse was slippin and slidin all over the floor. Once they got the horse up and out, we started commencin to continue to have a good time. After I blubbered to about eight different people "why ain't he wearin' rubber shoes?!!" - - it was obvious that I had reached my limit.

But wait. It gets better. Tammy comes up with the great idea to go drink something out of the trunk of her car. If my brain had been working anywhere near half capacity I would have told her she crazy. But nooooooooooo, she pops the trunk and I'm saying, "Gimme!"

I'm not entirely sure what gorilla piss tastes like but I bet cash money it tastes something like what she had in the trunk of her car.

Needless to say, I got belligerent and obnoxious so my wonderful husband loaded me up and hauled my butt home. Here's where I apologize to him for the verbal assault he took for 34 miles. I love you honey. It won't happen again.

Tammy, he says I can't hang out wit you NO MO.

C'mon, maaaaaaaaaaaaannn!

2011-01-28T09:22:00.003-06:00

So I've spent the past week spiffying up the blog and updating and such. Because I feel a real need to accomplish something since I have had no luck at all on another accomplishment I set out on.

It is really frustrating me because when I set a goal for myself, I usually obtain it because I am willing to work for it. And the times when it doesn't come to fruition, there are usually very valid reasons and I come to terms with it.

But this one goal I have set for myself I have worked hard for and I have done all I can do but nothing.

All because I'm not buddies with the "right" people.

So True!

2011-01-27T16:09:00.000-06:00

Y'all so kRAAAA-zzeeeeeeeeeee!

2011-01-27T09:27:00.000-06:00

I can't help it.

I giggle every time I see a liberal pee their pants about Sarah Palin.

All they have to do is see a picture of her or hear her name.

LOL! it is so frakking hilarious.

Eeeee Eeeeee Eeeeee Eeeeeee!

2011-01-25T09:55:00.000-06:00

Caught a little bit o' The Bachelor last night. I see that kRaZy Michelle is still hanging in there. You remember her: "It's my birthday. I gotta rose. It's my birthday. I gotta rose. It's. My. Birthday." I gotta tell ya . . . the producers have to have something to do with the whackos making it through so many rounds.

But.

The crazy makes for good ratings cuz you know how the television audience lurves them some KrAZy!

Weekends ROCK!

2011-01-22T21:06:00.000-06:00

Had a great day with the family and cousins today. Had a delicious lunch at a popular burger joint and then hauled all the kids to an inflatable playground. They ran around and wore themselves smooth out. Nice. Maybe Momma will be able to get to sleep in late tomorrow . . .

. . . .pfffft! forget it

2011-01-21T15:06:00.000-06:00

Time to face facts: I'm not gonna be able to keep up with blogging about The Bachelor after every episode. Mainly because I have to watch it at work on the computer during my lunch hour and also mainly because I'm just lazy.

OMG! I totally need to catch up!

2011-01-19T13:05:00.002-06:00

and I will!!! Soon!

Bachelor Brad 2011: Episode 1, Part 1

2011-01-05T14:54:00.000-06:00

The very first thing I am going to do before I get into this first episode is apologize to Brad. I think the dude is in it fo realz this time. He put it all out there for us by reminding us what he did to Deanna and Jenny, telling us what he went through afterwards, where is he now, and where he wants to be at the end of the show. I applaud his inner hard work . . . it could not have been easy. I hope it pays off for him with a wonderful new lady in his life.

The show opens with Brad pretty much laying his emotional guts on the metal table for everyone to view. It was hard to listen to but the truth usually is. Although it was not hard to WATCH because I do appreciate a good pec shot now and again. Especially tanned. With pool water sluicing off as he rises out of . . . uh, oh sorry . . um . . . Still, my heart went out to the guy because he is so very obviously on the show for the right reasons this time. But my generous spirit only goes so far and, as a female, I am skeptical of the motives of any chick on this show.

After he travels back to the Bachelor McMansion and gets his hot sweaty work out on, Brad does a little sit down with Chris Harrison. ahhh Chris Harrison. Master of the Romance Reality Show Hosts. Even ol' Chuck Woolery comes in a far behind second to the suave Mr. Harrison. Back to Brad's pre-intro to the ladies chat with Chris. Once they get the "hey duuuudes" out of the way, Chris (via those sneaky conniving show producers) drops a bomb on Brad. Guess what?!!?! Deanna and Jenny are here! YAY us! You know, I have watched people "go green" and look like they are about to lose their lunch but the look on Brad's face was absolute sheer terror. I've only seen the deer-in-the-headlights look on an actual deer in the road but I can now say that I have actually seen the deer-in-the-headlights look on a human. And it was Brad.

Although Jenny seemed genuinely happy to see Brad and have the opportunity to put a hard life lesson behind her, Deanna looked like she wanted to cut the guy. And was it just me or did the cameras seem to gratuitously keep reflecting off the engagement/wedding rings of both ex-Bachelorettes? Yeah yeah yeah . . . we get it. They have moved on. But we're not here for them. We're here for HIM. Let's keep it moving . . . we have new ladies to meet.

Now . . . let's just talk about those 30 special ladies, shall we? I'm just going to do quick little tidbits about each new Bachelorette as they came out of the limo ('cause that how I did my notes):

Chantal: Aaaaaand let's get it started with a good ol' bitch slap as soon as the first gal to meet him. Frankly, no class with that move. I hope he bitch kicks her to the curb at the end of the night.

Kimberly: Okay, I have no notes about her except "nah" . . . apparently my bag of bbg chips held more interest for me than she did.

Alli: Alli didn't do much better than Chantal with her first remark "I know America hates you." At this rate Brad might not even have TWO worth deciding between. Gawd . . . I hope it gets better.

Ashley S: HERE SHE IS!! Cute little Southern gal after my own heart. Her first remark (and a good one that I myself have used on the simpleminded cowboy a time or two): "You look like a tall drink of water." She seems really sweet although I have my concerns about her maturity.

Meghan: I went blank. All I got was BIG ASS FUGLY PINK SHOES.

Marissa: Apparently her whole life revolves around sports and Brad loves her because of it. Gag. But I did love her dress.

Lindsay: Lindsay gets high marks because she's from Texas (which automatically makes her GD - geographically desirable) and because she's a redhead. My little bit of red comes from Mom . . . wish I'd gotten more.

Ashley H: She's a dentist who dances in knee high socks. I call WINNER.

Raichel: Oh.My.Gawd. The resident manscaper. The doofus actually brought her waxing supplies with her to wax something off Brad. That is just nine kinds of jacked up. I hope she's gone at the end of the night.

Madison: Here she is, folks. The one that is going to shoot this series to the top of the Neilsen ratings! Why? you ask. Because she gonna bring the kRaZy with her what?!?! yes, with her crazy-ass FANGS. oy vey.

Melissa: Immediate dislike. What kind of goober actually runs out of a limo and launches herself into the arms of someone she's never met? Melissa, that's who! Think she's a few bricks short of a full load.

Rene: Rene gives a good first impression but she did seem kind of lost and looking for her parents.

Cristy: An attorney from Florida. All she made me think was, "But aren't lawyers supposed to be SMART?"

Jackie: Arrggh. Awful yellow dress on a very pretty girl. Oh wait. She did the "pinky swear you won't break my heart and I won't break yours." Again, gag.

Okay. Break time. We're only halfway through the introductions but trust me. It doesn't get better from here. Wait. That's not true. There are a couple of good picks coming up but better than there are more that are not.

Can't wait to tell you about 'em!!

The Bachelor 2011: Brad is BACK!

2011-01-03T13:54:00.000-06:00

Alas, we find ourselves on the precipice of yet another installment of "The Bachelor." (happy squeal!) Just kidding.

I have to first admit that I have not kept up with every single Bachelor/Bachelorette series since they started broadcasting this all-humiliation showcase. I have just caught enough factoids (similar to hemorroids only less useful) to engage in the trading of smart-alecky comments with others like myself who only watch for the plethora of good comedic material.

Okay, with all that blah blah blah being said, let's dive into "THE BACHELOR: BRAD IS BACK!"

I've decided that I'm going to try to watch as much as possible so that I can fully appreciate the trainwreck that is "The Bachelor." Also, Brad bellying up for a second helping is in and of itself a pretty good punchline. AND he's gonna have a stable of not 25, but count 'em! 30 lovely I'm-not-here-just-for-15-seconds-of-infamy-but-honestly-looking-for-true-love ladies. AND they're adding a couple more episodes because there is just so much drama and heartwrenching . . . okay, okay, they need the extra episodes due to the added number of women and everybody needs to get their hot tub shots.

So. Let's sit back and experience Brad getting his romance on. Again.

Kid-losophy 101

2010-12-13T13:07:00.000-06:00

A lot of parents out there can probably relate to what I am about to post. It must be in the little kid DNA to live by the motto: "If one person won't give me the answer I want, I will just go ask somebody that will."

Which brings me to a little problem we have been dealing with lately. The Bear has gotten in to the habit of asking me or Daddy for something (or to do something) then, when the first askee does not give him the answer he is wanting, he will go to the other parent seeking a more pleasing result. When that doesn't work in his favor, he resorts to guerrilla tactics: Do it anyway, then say "Mom (or Dad) said I could!" Oh yeah . . . the ol' throw the other parent under the bus modus operandi.

Some times I just want to ask him: "Okay, you DO know that Dad and I know each other, right? And that we occasionally talk to each other?"

This is one of those kid things that even though it is as aggravating as crap, it is still hard not to smile at. And appreciate his obvious determination.

Tenacity is, for the most part, an admirable trait. Except when it is being exercised on parents.

WOW! Where'd it GO?

2010-12-02T13:14:00.000-06:00

Every once in a while I think of an interesting topic to blog about and, yes, it is something other than politics. But before I can get my butt in front of the computer something else diverts me . . . "Oh look! a bunny!" . . . so my blogging gets scattered to the . . . well, I forget about it.

But with a new year approaching and several interesting things to ponder, I'm going to try to get back on the blogging wagon.

I have a short list deskside that I will be referring to in the near future as I know you all are awaiting with bated breath!

Bear Fu

2010-05-21T14:59:00.000-05:00

I loved my Bear being a baby. But it was a full time job.

Now that he is getting older and getting involved in his own activities (just needs me to chauffeur), it gets more fun every year. Last year we did soccer and T-ball. This year we are doing T-ball and karate!

And the Bear loves him some karate.

He is enthusiastic, to say the least. We had to mention to him after class the other night that he should let the instructor lead the class. And not every suggestion by the instructor is meant to be replied to. We will continue to work on minimizing his verbosity during karate.

I'll post some pictures as soon as I get them downloaded. I ordered his karate uniform from KarateDepot.com and got it at a great price!

Mr. Obama Goes to Cairo

2010-04-27T13:46:00.002-05:00

Barack Obama, during his Cairo speech, said: "I know, too, that Islam has always been a part of America 's story."

AN AMERICAN CITIZEN'S RESPONSE:

Dear Mr. Obama:

Were those Muslims that were in America when the Pilgrims first landed? Funny, I thought they were Native American Indians.

Were those Muslims that celebrated the first Thanksgiving day? Sorry again, those were Pilgrims and Native American Indians.

Can you show me one Muslim signature on the United States Constitution?

. . . Declaration of Independence?

. . . Bill of Rights?

Didn't think so.

Did Muslims fight for this country's freedom from England? No.

Did Muslims fight during the Civil War to free the slaves in America? No, they did not. In fact, Muslims to this day are still the largest traffickers in human slavery. Your own half brother, a devout Muslim, still advocates slavery himself, even though Muslims of Arabic descent refer to black Muslims as "pug nosed slaves." Says a lot of what the Muslim world really thinks of your family's "rich Islamic heritage,"
doesn't it Mr. Obama?

Where were Muslims during the Civil Rights era of this country? Not present. There are no pictures or media accounts of Muslims walking side by side with Martin Luther King, Jr. or helping to advance the cause of Civil Rights.

Where were Muslims during this country's Woman's Suffrage era? Again, not present. In fact, devout Muslims demand that women are subservient to men in the Islamic culture. So much so, that often they are beaten for not wearing the 'hajib' or for talking to a man who is not a direct family member or their husband. Yep, the Muslims are all for women's rights, aren't they?

Where were Muslims during World War II? They were aligned with Adolf Hitler. The Muslim grand mufti himself met with Adolf Hitler, reviewed the troops and accepted support from the Nazi's in killing Jews.

Mr. Obama, where were Muslims on Sept. 11th, 2001? If they weren't flying planes into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon or a field in Pennsylvania killing nearly 3,000 people on our own soil, they were rejoicing in the Middle East. No one can dispute the pictures shown from all parts of the Muslim world celebrating on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and other cable news networks that day. Strangely, the very "moderate" Muslims whose asses you bent over backwards to kiss in Cairo, Egypt on June 4th were stone cold silent post-9/11. To many Americans, their silence has meant approval for the acts of that day.

What about those Barbary pirates. They were Muslim.

Now we can add November 5, 2009 - the slaughter of American soldiers at Fort Hood by a Muslim major who was a doctor and a psychiatrist who was supposed to be counseling soldiers returning from battle in Iraq and Afghanistan.

And THAT, Mr. Obama, is the "rich heritage" Muslims have in America.

Do the math, you morons!!!

2010-04-12T11:17:00.000-05:00

Here is a prime example of WHY the US Postal Service is going broke and its employees are going to be getting pink slips by the dozens.

I work in an "unincorporated" town . . . what bearing this has on the federal postal service, I have no idea but the postal employees credit that fact with their idiotic policy about which I am going to gripe.

My employer has a post office box at the local post office. I picked up the mail today to see a notice of postal box fee due and owing. I went to the counter and asked if the fee is waived because our office is not serviced by a postal delivery person.

The answer? No.

Okay. So not only do they NOT delivery our mail to our address which in turn requires us to have apost office box but they are FORCING us to pay the box rental fee.

No wonder UPS and FedEx are kicking the USPS out of business. The USPS sucks.

Skanks for the Memories

2010-03-12T13:22:00.000-06:00

I know I'm a little bit behind on this one - it is appropriately and thankfully old news.

Butt . . .

After having done my research and truly prepared myself for an objective opinion of the latest "Bachelor" installment, I can honestly say that Jake is a douche. And a oblivious one at that.

I need to qualify this entire post by admitting that I viewed very little of the show itself. I have gleaned much of my information from the show's website, Chris Harrison's recaps, and entertainment blogs. Because quite frankly, watching the show is a complete exercise in nausea for me. But I still appreciate the entertainment value in that silly little theater of the absurd.

I thought to be a pilot one had to be at least halfway intelligent. Apparently Lil Jake was doing all the thinking whilst the show was in production because even if Vienna (sausage!!! har har har) wasn't the PT of all time, she came in a pretty close 2nd. With her bleached out hair and cock-eyed face, she is gonna turn out to be all kinds of heinous in a few years. I'm just sayin . . .

Anyhoo, on to the next season with Ali as the completely spontaneously chosen Bachelorette. ;o)

Who's the Hero

2010-02-25T13:06:00.000-06:00

I was just reading the "manifesto" of Andrew Joseph Stack, the man that flew his small plane into the Eschelon building in Austin, Texas last week.

Before reading it, I had heard that Stack's adult daughter, who now lives in Norway, made the comment that his actions were inappropriate but that he was a hero.

Your dad was no hero, chick.

What he was and what he represents is a horrifying truth in America: with the way the IRS does business this type of event should not come as a shock.

If you don't know someone who has had difficulties with the IRS, then you are in the minority. If you have had problems with the IRS yourself, don't consider yourself special. It's pretty common in our country with the current IRS policies and procedures.

In fact, I have personally experienced the IRS meat grinder. Several years ago, due to false information filed by a former spouse, my husband and I filed our tax return only to be notified that our refund was being withheld to pay $2,400 in past due taxes and penalties. After doing the necessary research and submitting all the proving documentation, it was apparent that the past due taxes were not our responsibility. That, in fact, our refund should not have been withheld.

You'd think.

It took almost EIGHTEEN (18) MONTHS of telephone calls with dozens of different IRS offices and departments and people and letter after letter after letter repeating THE SAME INFORMATION before the IRS finally acknowledged that, Yes . . . we are entitled to our refund and the back taxes were the sole responsibility of the former spouse.

But . . . we did not get our refund. The IRS advised us that since we did not prove BEFORE the tax refund garnishment that the debt was not ours, then we had no refund coming to us. According to the IRS, we should have proven the debt was not ours before we even knew about it. When the taxpayer owes money to the IRS, he could lose everything if it is not paid. If the IRS owes the taxpayer money, there is no hurry to pay if it gets paid at all.

In the end, we both felt like we had been run over by a truck but at least we did not owe the IRS any money. We got screwed out of our refund and felt relief that that was all they were going to do. That was a big wake up call . . . the voluntary taxes from decades ago are now mandatory and are being used against us. And in the case of Mr. Stack, caused a senseless and avoidable tragedy.

I empathize with Mr. Stack's frustration and feelings of hopelessness at the hands of the IRS and its inane policies. But he was no hero.

The gentleman killed in the building after the plane crashed was Vernon Hunter. His son took issue with Stack's daughter's "hero" comment. As should we all.

"My Dad served two tours in Vietnam. My Dad was the hero."

Yes, sir. He was.

Quote of the Day

2010-02-16T10:18:00.001-06:00

"Let each citizen remember at the moment he is offering his vote that he is not making a present or a compliment to please an individual -- or at least that he ought not so to do; but that he is executing one of the most solemn trusts in human society for which he is accountable to God and his country." ~ Samuel Adams

I am so not HERE

2010-02-15T13:35:00.000-06:00

because I am so already on vacation in my mind.

We have already made all our reservations for our July vacation so now all I have to do is think about it and plan for it and pine for it to already be here.

Five months is a dadgum long time to think about an event that will last 10 short days.

I need to find me a hobby to distract myself.

Call me cRaZy but . . .

2010-02-10T10:48:00.000-06:00

but I am so stinking jealous of the East coast. They are just getting pummeled by snowstorms. And I write this in hopes that everyone has electricity and heat and food. And books.

But I miss having a good ole dump of snow once in a while. I grew up in the Panhandle of Texas and we got at least three big snows every winter. Very rarely did they hit on Christmas (as scheduled) but we still got our fill of wintertime fun growing up.

Now that I am living so far south in central Texas, I'm lucky if I see the teeny tiny itsy bitsy little frozen bits in the air before they melt on their way down. How the heck I am supposed to build a snowman THAT way? I gotta have something to work with, people!

Re-evaluation Time

2010-02-09T16:59:00.000-06:00

Wait, is re-evaluation even a real word? Been in the legal biz too long cuz we just make 'em up as we go along.

After surviving (and I literally mean "survive" in every sense of the word) a horrible 2008-early 2009, we are now actually coming out of the darkness of those days. And with this emergence we have come to some new realizations. And just affirmed some old stuff we already knew.

First, the old news is that together we can make it through anything life throws at us. We're pretty damn tough. Sometimes even tougher than we think we're capable of.

Second old news is that even when our faith is weak, it is a lot stronger than others. And out of the difficult times we always come out more committed to our faith and our Lord. He truly never deserts us - - we just sometimes let the hard times block Him from our line of sight.

New news is that we have shuffled up our priorities so that enjoyment of life as a family makes it closer to the top of the list. In the past we have put too much emphasis on new stuff, better stuff, top of the line stuff. Well, we're gonna start livin' on the cheap from now on. Guess what? I don't need a new truck every two years. And neither does the Hubster. Because we have a new goal.

Something that brings our little family immense joy is a place. And our resources are going to be re-prioritized so that we will have a home at this place. It's not a goal that is going to be accomplished overnight but it is a goal that brings excitement just in its simple undertaking. I can only imagine the joy to be experienced in the actual work to get to the goal.

God is good all the time. All the time God is good.

hmmmm . . . now THERE'S an ass-scratcher for ya

2010-01-20T15:07:00.000-06:00

Liberals have been and continue to blame Bush for the sad state of our nation's economy, etc.

um, excuse me. Yes. Hasn't Congress been controlled by Democrats for the past 4 years (+ 2001 and 2002)?

Ergo, Democrats had the legislative muscle, not the sitting president, to pass worthwhile reforms.

Nobody else does the blame game so well. Huh, Martha?

Reality Smack Upside the Head

2010-01-20T10:54:00.000-06:00

I am beyond GLEEFUL that Scooter Brown won the Senate race in Massachusetts last night.

Beyond. frickin. gleeful.

And while we all know that liberals/leftists/socialists live in their own media-saturated reality, last night's victory for Brown should have felt like the proverbial cast iron skillet upside their brain pans. They can talk their political mumbo jumbo all they want and twist it any way they think will work it to their best advantage but the rest of us OUT HERE IN THE REAL WORLD WHO HOLD VOTER CARDS know the real score.

Obama and his agenda and his henchpeople (HI, NANCY!!!!) are going down in flames. Pucker up, buttercups. Time to kiss that revolting 30 pound stack of pages you call "reform" Good-Bye. All of you swung sooooooooo far to the left that you actually believed that the ignorant masses were following you.

More and more conservatives are moving closer to center that the Independents will soon be making or breaking all the elections.

Word to the whooped: you need to distance yourself fast and far from Obama and his radical agenda or you will find yourself losing. Again.

Word to the 2nd winded: don't miss this GOLDEN opportunity to set the Republican party strongly on its feet and show the nation that we are the only hope for CONSERVATIVE government, conservative taxes, and conservative choices that benefit everyone.

November 2010 elections are gonna ROCK!!!

2010: The First Blog of a New Decade

2010-01-19T07:42:00.001-06:00

I wish I had something exciting and interesting to blog about for the smancy title but . . . . nope. I got nothin.

I do have a few little tidbits that are floating around in my medicinal haze (Tylenol Flu):

Massachusetts' Senate Race - I am so sick (literally) and frickin tired of hearing the liberal gag-me media referring to the open senate seat as "Kennedy's seat." For the love of pete, IT IS NOT KENNEDY'S SEAT, YOU OBLIVIOUS LIBERAL MORONS!!!!! It is MASSACHUSETTS' Senate seat that WILL be decided by the CITIZENS OF MASSACHUSETTS!!!

(I love screaming in print, lots less coughing.)

Chuggingtons - Alas, another wonderful train-inspired cast of characters imported from Britian that the Bear is newly crazy about. Of course, it offers all manner of licensed paraphenalia to drain the parental units' wallets: DVDs, toys, books, clothing, etc. And to be honest, I am enjoying it myself.

Haiti - I understand looting of food and clothing. I mean, come on, they lost everything. I do not understand the looting of home entertainment electronics because I'm guessing there are no available electrical outlets and, no walls for said outlets.

facebook - meh. I'm finding the same "clique-ness" out there as was prevalent in junior high and high school. Why bother with the friend requests? Oh. I see. It's all about the numbers.

I'm goin back to bed.

Get There Faster!!

2009-11-06T10:23:00.000-06:00

Before I start my own personal funny story, what reminded me of it was the news article yesterday regarding Sandra Bullock and her husband Jesse James and the ongoing custody battle they are engaged in with Jesse's ex-girlfriend, hardcore porn actress Janine Lindemuld. (Did you know that if you click the link on Janine's name, and your "SafetyNet" is turned on, a warning will pop up about the explicitness of any information or images about her? WOW)

Anyways, the whole online porn thing reminded me of something that happened several years ago when I was working with a Dallas law firm.

There was a female secretary (mid-40s) named Leslie (her real name because, considering what she's put out on the internet, who really gives a shirt if I use her real name?). I did not know her all that well but on the few occasions that I interacted with her for work reasons, she seemed nice enough. One day she was discussing her new boyfriend with a few people in the breakroom. It seems she had met this younger man online and he was moving from Houston to be with her and yada yada yada. Let me advise you now, good readers, that there was something about Leslie that everyone else knew but I did not. Apparently, I caught enough of the conversation to hear "swing" and "dancing" and how much she and her new squeeze enjoyed going to the "club."

Fast forward a week or so. I was thumbing through the weekly alternative "Dallas Observer" when I saw an advertisement for swing dancing and cocktails every Wednesday evening at a popular lounge on Greenville Avenue. Hmm. Being the helpful and informative person that I am, I tore out the ad and the next time I was by Leslie's desk, I stopped and handed it to her. "Hey, I don't know if you and John have been to this place but it sounds like it is right up your alley," I perkily suggested to her. She looked at the ad and gave me a confused look, "Umm, yeah. Okay. Thanks."

Here's where it gets funny. Through the firm grapevine I finally found out that Leslie and her new boyfriend very much enjoyed swing and dancing, but not swingdancing. Follow me? They had also just started up their own little website, and for the low low membership price of $19.95 a month you could watch them do . . . interesting . . . acts with themselves and with others. Leslie also apparently fancied herself a writer because she had quite the "energetic" blog that devoted website members could read to their little perverted hearts' content.

And THAT is when my upstairs lightbulb clicked on. a-HA!

Why the hell not? We GIVE them everything anyway!

2009-11-05T11:57:00.000-06:00

So they're still tussling about whether illegal immigrants will be eligible to participate in Obamacare. From what I understand, some Democrats and the Congressional Hispanic Caucus want there to be language added to the proposed healthcare reform bill that will allow illegals to "purchase" insurance coverage. The White House currently does not want it to be allowed.

Why are elected officials pushing for illegals to benefit from our tax dollars? Why were they elected if this is what they want to do with American money? Basically they want illegals to be given the same exact benefits as LEGAL Americans (who can pay for it) are given. All the while the illegals are NOT contributing to our nation's income column. They get to pay in a little and reap a lot. All without paying one damn tax dollar to keep our government (including programs and infrastructures, etc.) operating.

Incredible.

If I knew they wouldn't hang up on me, I love to call these wrongfully elected illegal-loving politicians and tell them to put the illegals on the politician's own person health insurance policy. I bet they wouldn't be so quick to throw cash around when it comes out of THEIR pocket. Being fiscally irresponsible with OUR tax dollars apparently is not a concern to them.

Asswipes.

So THAT'S Why!

2009-10-13T11:15:00.000-05:00

". . . left-leaning committee whose members are appointed by the Norwegian Parliament . . ." (emphasis added)

And as an afterthought of the liberal media, here's a look at those who actually earned their Nobels.

Pissy Lil Bitches

2009-10-09T14:32:00.000-05:00

So Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for . . . . um, yeah. He won it.

What I am finding the amost amusing about this little turn of events is that the same Democrats who insulted and belittled Bush are now pissing and moaning because Republicans have the AUDACITY to question why Obama got the prize for TWO WEEKS of non-accomplishment. I'm not so crass as to mention anything about being 12 short weeks from the end of his first year with nothing to show for it. Oh wait. I am.

This is not a post about how wonderful I think Bush was (because I didn't). This is a post about those Democrats who, instead of crowing with pride, choose to whine and nag about those of us who disagree with Obama being selected for the Nobel.

What? We're supposed to listen to their whining carpy crap when a Republican has something good happen for them AND listen to their whining carpy crap when a Democrat has something good happen for them, too? WTF?

And I just saw where a Democrat referred to disagreement about the Nobel by saying the commentor was being "negative" and "how sad it must be to live such a negative life." That's pretty damn ironic seeing as how this particular Democrat is one of the most negative humans I've ever read.

Cuz We Can! nanna nanna

2009-10-08T11:38:00.000-05:00

I know I'm a little slow on the draw with this one but I just now came across the news article about it.

Apparently the Democrat-heavy House passed a resolution of disapproval of Rep. Joe Wilson (S.C.). You remember him - the fella that shouted out "YOU LIE!" while Obama was jive talking his way around the "there will be no government healthcare for illegal aliens" issue during his socialized medicine commercial a few weeks back.

Hmmm. The Democrats pass a resolution because someone spoke a truth that just happens to be in opposition to the Democrats' position? Yeah, because THAT'S such a productive way for our elected officials to spend their time on our dime.

'Cuz I'm a Gambler and I Only Play the Game My Way

2009-10-07T13:25:00.000-05:00

When it comes to wasting money, I've always thought I was pretty good at avoiding significant monetary losses. My first trip to the racetrack in Ruidoso, New Mexico, began and ended with me betting $6 on 3 different horses. Not a single horse placed. $6 down the drain. When we go to Vegas, I give myself $80 to play the roulette wheel. I either lose it all or come home a few hundred dollars heavier. But $80 is the max I allow myself.

But lately I've been putting a lot of effort in to being thrifty and stretching our family's dollars as far as they will possibly go. I clip coupons, buy the store specials, stick my list, and pretty much keep our expenses trim.

Two of the items that we all have to buy is trash bags and toilet paper. I absolutely hate to pay $6 for 30 trash bags or $7 for 6 rolls of toilet paper. Those two things always seem overpriced to me. Okay, okay. I didn't wage war on the toilet paper because, let's face it, who really wants to? So I pay a higher price for a very good brand and be done with it. But the trash bags? Too expensive. If they guaranteed me that the bags held up well until they made it to the dump and then disintegrated quickly into healthy earth loving mulch, then the price wouldn't bother me so much. Yeah right. I've waged war on the trash bags. I just bought my first package of store brand trash bags.

This is where the gamble comes in. I'm either out the $3 for crappy bags or I just saved my family $3. It's a crapshoot no matter what I do.

Guess what? The store brand is durable and comes with the fancy drawstring tie/handle.

How smart am I?

Why?

2009-10-06T14:39:00.002-05:00

This is a subject that, like no other, severely rattles my strong faith.

I just received an email urging me to forward it on to family and friends in the fight against child abuse. The email contained pictures of one 3-year-old little girl with terrible wounds from her multiple beatings at the hands of her father. The last picture was apparently a coroner's photo of this little girl's back, buttocks, and legs after her death.

She was 3.

Why? Why does this happen? Even if the email was fraudulent and the pictures were altered, even if this little girl does not really even exist, we know that this type of horrific abuse occurs every day. If not more frequently. I don't have the stomach to actually research the statistics. I'm married to a police officer who has seen this kind of abuse just by the nature of his chosen career. I know it happens. What I want to to know is why does it happen?

How can it be stopped? Child protective services and courts routinely return children to their abusers. Unfortunately some people in society still hold the archiac opinion that it's "none of my business" if they see a child who, at the most, is being physically/mentally abused and, at the least, is being neglected.

I saw a news article not too long ago about an 8 year old boy going in to the restroom of a fastfood restaurant while his mom ordered their food at the front counter. A pedophile walks in the door, goes into the restroom, pushes the boy into a stall, and brutally molests him. The whole time the boy's mother is completely unaware of what is going on less than 20 feet from her. She is completely unaware that the man who walked right past her on his way out the door just ripped her son's life to shreds and some how, some way she is going to have to find a way to put the tattered pieces back together. I think of that boy so often. I pray for him frequently that he is healing both physically and emotionally and that one day he will be whole again.

This topic makes me question my faith because I cannot understand why God lets it happen. I know that if I believe in good, then I must also believe in evil. Okay. Fine. But if the devil has control of the pedophiles and the abusers and the scumbags that hurt children, why doesn't God do a better job of protecting children? Why can't He do the superhero stuff where the bad guy gets a wrecking ball to the head when he tries to hurt someone? Why can't God cause the bad guy to trip over his own stupid feet and get stabbed in the jungular with a fork?

And why the hell isn't it legal for me to take my legitimately purchased gun and blow a pedophile to kingdom come? It should be.

This is the one thing that causes me to struggle with my spiritual beliefs. Because I know that in the end, God does not have a good enough answer to my question.

Looky! A Book Blog!

2009-10-06T13:09:00.002-05:00

Me and some gurlfrens have set up a new book blog for our book club. Yay! for us! We don't have a name yet, just stacks of books that we all have loved or wanna love.

Making new friends and starting something new (at my advanced age) is so much FUN!

Huge Debt = Patriotism

2009-10-05T11:37:00.002-05:00

Am I glad Chicago lost the bid for the 2016 Olympics? Yes I am.

Does that make me un-Patriotic? It damn sure does not.

I don't care what spin this dude puts on it, it was bad timing for our country and bad politics for Obama.

And don't even get me started on the "organizers" in Chicago politics who got Obama to make the wasted trip to Copenhagen.

Tip of the Iceberg, people. Tip. Of. The. Iceberg.

2009-09-24T12:53:00.001-05:00

New Yorkers say, "Butt out."

The Elephant in the Room

2009-09-24T09:09:00.004-05:00

Okay, I'll step off into it.

The MacKenzie Phillips/John Phillips 10-year incestous relationship announcement.

I'm of the feeling that it is true simply because a person does not share that type of information when it is not true. We all know that to make that type of announcement does not immediately make you a target for only sympathy. It also invites all manner of vicious attack allegations from those who don't believe it to be true. I think MacKenzie loved her Dad. I think she had a very messed up upbringing and a severe lack of parental guidance and acceptance. I think she has endured an extremely painful journey to get to this point. I think she is trying to heal. My best wishes go out to her.

And now for a few words from her brother (from CNN.com):

Mackenzie's half-brother, Tamerlane, the follower of an Indian guru, is having none of it.

"My family is and always will be a decrepit bowl of dog urine compared to Nityananda of Ganeshpuri. That is how great Nityananda is," he told the New York Post's Page Six. "Worship Nityananda, not the Phillips family."

Oh. My. Yord.

No Filter

2009-09-16T08:28:00.003-05:00

As I was sitting with the Husband and SIL (Sister-in-Law) the other evening and discussing dealing with difficult people, they both informed me how I "have no filter."

By no filter they mean that I say what I think and feel without running it through the mental "should I say this out loud?" filter. Apparently their opinion is that I should utilize my filter more than I presently do - - which is never.

I can honestly say that I do not recall a time when I have regretted anything I have said and most especially if I said it during a highly emotional moment.

I think that it is part of what is wrong with our society today. That politically correct bullshirt that started during the Clinton years did nothing except create more friction and less common ground between people of differing views. Oooh, don't say what you really think because that will offend somebody somewhere.

How are we supposed to find common ground on important issues if people won't put their true thoughts out there and hear the other person's true thoughts THEN work towards the middle? How the hell are you supposed to know where the actual middle IS if nobody is honest about their actual position?

But back to the discussion with the Husband and the SIL. The question was posed to me, "Don't you sometimes think that you shouldn't say something because it will hurt the other person's feelings?"

My answer: "If they don't want my opinion, then they should not enter into the discussion with me in the first place. If someone's bad behavior is affecting me, damn right I'm going to call them on it. When I believe in something, I'm passionate about it. Apathy is one of those things that completely sets me off."

Another question to me: "Yeah, but do you have compassion?"

Me: "Very little of it."

My experience is that "the filter" only causes misunderstandings and frustration. And sometimes irreparable damage to the relationship. The misunderstanding is because the filter prevented an honest opinion from being heard. The frustration is caused by the misunderstanding which results in no resolution. No resolution means no improvement, no change, continued lack of honest communication. Damage that will never be repaired nor prevented.

Y'all can keep your filter.

Thou Shalt Not Oppose Thy Obama

2009-09-01T12:48:00.001-05:00

Great article.

Heartwarming, my ass.

2009-09-01T10:14:00.004-05:00

Apparently the guy who abducted Jaycee Dugard in 1991 is saying that "if you just take this a step at a time, you're going to fall over backward, and in the end you're going to find the most powerful, heartwarming story."

What kind of crack has that douchebag been smokin?

Shoot him.

Common Sense: The Lost Art

2009-08-28T09:34:00.005-05:00

Since leaving the city, it has been my utmost pleasure to become knowledgeable about rural postal service.

There is none.

When we moved to the country, we were informed that our local post office did not deliver to people's homes. If you wanted to receive mail, you were required to get a post office box. Most of us did not have to pay for the boxes since having it delivered to our homes was not an option.

You can imagine the joys of trying to receive merchandise ordered online from companies whose customer information request clearly states NO PO BOXES in the shipping address line.

I recently ordered some shirts for the Bear and chose to have them shipped to my employer's physical address via UPS. You'd think since the UPS guy has been in the office delivering other stuff, choosing UPS was a safe choice and I wouldn't run the risk of having my purchases returned.

You'd also think, with their current financial woes, that postal workers would put a little extra effort in pleasing the customers that actually still use the post office for their delivery needs instead of using the internet to pay all their bills and correspond with loved ones.

You'd think.

Apparently, nobody is too concerned with customer service these days.

My UPS package (with the physical delivery address on it) was delivered to the post office (which requires a PO Box number on it) where I had to track it down myself before it was sent back (for not having a PO Box number on it) and where I was told to use a PO Box number for my shipping address (which requires a physical delivery address).

Gas is starting to sound cheaper than a migraine at this point.

Kindergarten Bear!

2009-08-26T09:00:00.003-05:00

First day of kindergarten. And it just seems like the other day that we were bringing him home from the hospital. Time moves entirely too fast.

Battle of the Myths

2009-08-25T10:07:00.003-05:00

You know, I was kind of shame-facedly reading the news last week and checking out information regarding Obama's town hall meetings. The Republican party and its members, for the most part, are accused of being weavers of tall tales and out-and-out liars when it comes to their synopses of the health care reform bill.

My shame came from being associated with anyone who would tell untruths to gain support. The support to defeat socialized medicine should come from the truth of its inadequacies and outrageous addition to our deficit. The support should come from the truth that we can find a better way than what is being proffered to us now by Obama and his crew.

I have no shame now. Apparently this health reform business is mired neck deep into which side can get more people to believe their lies. Sarah Palin and her "death panel" talk is no more heinous than the following "orchestrated" bullsh** town hall gathering produced wholly to project a false sense of ridicously strong support for Obama's socialized health care from the very conservative state of Montana.

I will never support Obama's proposed reform. He may be ready to hand over this nation to his fanatical leftist thugs, but I am not.

By now you have probably heard that President Obama came to Montana last Friday. However, there are many things that the major news has not covered. I feel that since Bill and I live here and we were at the airport on Friday I should share some facts with you. Whatever you decide to do with the information is up to you. If you chose to share this email with others I do ask that you DELETE my email address before you forward this on.

On Wednesday, August 5th it was announced locally that the President wouldbe coming here. There are many groups here that are against his healthcare and huge spending so those groups began talking and deciding on what they were going to do. The White House would not release ANY details other than the date.

On about Tuesday Bill found out that they would be holding the "Town Hall"at the airport. (This is only because Bill knows EVERYONE at the airport.) Our airport is actually located outside ofBelgrade (tiny town) in a veryremote location. Nothing is around there. They chose to use a hangar that is the most remotely located hangar. You could not pick a more remote location,and you can not get to it easily. It is totally secluded from the public. FYI: We have many areas in Belgrade and Bozeman which could have held alarge amount of folks with sufficient parking. (gymnasiums/auditoriums). All of which have chairs and tables, and would not have to be SHIPPED IN!! $$$$$

During the week, cargo by the TONS was being shipped in constantly. Airport employees could not believe how it just kept coming. Though it was our President coming several expressed how excessive it was, especially during a recession. $$$$$

Late Tuesday/early Wednesday the 12th, they said that tickets would be handed out on Thursday 9am at two locations and the president would be arriving around 12:30 Friday. Thursday morning about 600 tickets were passed out. However, 1500 were printed at a Local printing shop per White House request. Hmmmm......900 tickets just DISAPPEARED. This same morning someone called into the radio from the local UPS branch and said that THOUSANDS of Dollars of Lobster were shipped in for Obama. Montana has some of the best beef in the nation!!! And it would have been really wonderful to help out the local economy. Anyone heard of theRecession?? Just think...with all of the traveling the White House is doing. $$$$$ One can only imagine what else we are paying for.

On Friday Bill and I got out to the airport about 10:45am. The groups that wanted to protest Obama's spending and healthcare had gotten a permit to protest and that area was roped off. But that was not to be. A large bus carrying SEIU (Service Employees International Union) members drove up onto the area (illegal) and unloaded right there. It was quite a commotion and there were specifically 2 SEIU men trying to make trouble and start a fight. Police did get involved and arrested the one man but they said they did not have the manpower to remove the SEIU crowd. The SEIU crowd was very organized and young. About 99% were under the age of 30 and they were not locals! They had bullhorns and PROFESSIONALLY made signs. Some even wore preprinted T-shirts. Oh, and Planned Parenthood folks were with them.....professing abortion rights with their T-shirts and preprinted signs. (BTW, all these folks did have a permit to protest in ANOTHER area.)

Those against healthcare/spending moved away from the SEIU crowd to avoid confrontation. They were orderly and respectful. Even though SEIU kept coming over and walking through, continuing to be very intimidating and aggressive at the direction of the one SEIU man. So we had Montana folks from ALL OVER the state with their homemade signs and their DOGS with homemade signs. We had cowboys, nurses, doctors you name it. There was even a guy from Texas who had been driving through. He found out about the occasion, went to the store, made a sign, and came to protest.

If you are wondering about the press.....Well, all of the major networks were over by that remote hangar I mentioned. They were conveniently parked on the other side of the buildings FAR away. None of these crowds were even visible to them. I have my doubts that they knew anything about the crowds.We did have some local news media around us from this state and Idaho. Speaking of the local media...they were invited. However, all questions were to be turned into the White House in advance of the event. Wouldn't want anyone to have to think off the top of their head.

It was very obvious that it was meant to be totally controlled by the White House. Everything was orchestrated down to the last detail to make it appear that Montana is just crazy for Obama and government healthcare. Even those people that talked about their insurance woes........the White House called our local HRDC (Human Resource and Development Committee) and asked for names. Then the White House asked those folks to come. Smoke and mirrors . . . EVERYTHING was staged!!!!!!!!!!!

I am very dismayed about what I learned about our current White House. The amount of control and manipulation was unbelievable.

I felt I was not living in the United States of America, more like the USSR !! I was physically nauseous. Bill and I have been around when Presidents or Heads of State visit. It has NEVER been like this. I am truly very frightened for our country. America needs your prayers and your voices. If you care about our country please get involved. Know the issues. And let Congress hear your voices again and again!! If they are willing to put forth so much effort to BULLY a small town one can only imagine what is going on in Washington DC .

Kathy from Bozeman, Montana

Here's another attendee's experience.

EEE-gads!

2009-08-21T10:18:00.003-05:00

I am no fan of Obama. No surprise there.

But really? The media is going to whip itself into a frenzy because Michelle Obama wore shorts to the Grand Canyon?

Remember in "Back to the Future II" where Marty goes forward to 2015? Doc tells him how the justice system works swiftly in the future now that they've abolished all lawyers.

Here's a thought: Let's abolish the media. Can't believe about 95% of the crap they're dealing us anyway.

Opportunity of a Lifetime???

2009-08-18T13:23:00.002-05:00

"Don't let the fearmongers, don't let the dividers, don't let the people who disseminate false information frighten the United States Congress into walking away from the opportunity of a lifetime."

This lifetime opportunity presented itself during the Clinton administration some 15 years ago and now the Obama crew is trying to force down our throats again.

Opportunity of a lifetime? Part of the Democratic sales lingo.

We passed on it 15 years ago and we plan to pass on it now.

Something from my emailbox . . .

2009-08-17T15:28:00.002-05:00

"You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence. You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves."
- -Abraham Lincoln

. . . . . . . . . . . and Mr. Obama, you are no Abe Lincoln

Do as I SAY, Not as I do . . .

2009-08-12T12:42:00.004-05:00

The whole healthcare reform debate has me concerned. For a lot of reasons.

The first being that socialized medicine more than pops the lock of the safe of our freedoms and constitutional rights. What, then, will that mean for my son and his children?

That concern is closely followed by the quality of care that we will have access to. I know Obamacare tells me that the quality of healthcare is not going to decline but honestly. Can they GUARANTEE me that the future of medical advancements and quality of care in our country is not going to be sacrificed in order to provide "care" to everyone? Will there still be funds to support research? support timely renovations and upgrades in medical facilities?

My third concern is what is truly going to be the fate of private insurance coverage? Will it be cut off at the knees by a government plan in order that cheap cost and mediocre care obliterate the more expensive and best care?

Will everyone really have access to care or will everyone just have access to overcrowded, understaffed government health facilities that only have only themselves to answer to when it comes to safety, cleanliness, etc?

And if Obamacare is so great and is the right thing to do, why can't it just stand on its own? Why are thousands of Americans vocalizing their opposition to it? Why are they demanding that their representatives ACTUALLY READ the proposition and answer legitimate questions? Why are vocal (not physical) opponents to Obamacare being beaten by SEIU members who were called out to quash such opposition? Why can't Obamacare supporters conduct their town hall meetings without encouraging their fellow supporters to effectively instigate riot mentalities?

Just thinking out loud . . .

Page sixteen

2009-08-07T15:54:00.002-05:00

By Peter Heck

As it's becoming increasingly clear this presidency thing isn't going to work out for him, Barack Obama should feel relieved that he has proven to have the skills necessary to forge a successful follow-up career as a snake oil salesman. His most recent Obamacare press conference demonstrated that when it comes to far-fetched guarantees of miracles at bargain-basement prices, President Obama is in a league of his own.

The editors of National Review magazine pointed out that during the course of this hour-long sales pitch, Obama "said essentially all of the uninsured would be covered, the insured could keep their existing coverage, the quality of care would rise, waste and fraud would be slashed, the deficit would decline, and no one would have to pay a price for all this except a few millionaires." One must wonder if while he spoke, Vice President Biden was out looking for Pete's Dragon to capture and compound into the remedies necessary to make all this come to pass.

But since these snake oil deals never seem to work out very well for the customers, perhaps we citizens should take a careful look at the fine print on Mr. Obama's bill. The current version of Obamacare working its way through the House of Representatives is a 1,018-page monstrosity that no lawmaker has actually read, and that they're assuming no citizen will take the time to read either. Fortunately, you only have to wade through to page 16 to find out things aren't exactly as advertised.

Under the section entitled, "Limitation on New Enrollment," it states in black and white: "Except as provided in this paragraph, the individual health insurance issuer offering such coverage does not enroll any individual in such coverage if the first effective date of coverage is on or after the first day" of Obamacare's enactment.

Plain English: those of you who have private coverage, you can keep it – but you can't change it. And if you decide to leave your current job to start your own business, you won't be able to purchase individual plans from private carriers. Page 16 forbids it.

Those of us who oppose socialism have been warning for some time that when a private company is forced to compete with the government, the private company will never survive. Unlike private companies who need to make profits in order to operate, government does not. Government can charge a ridiculously cheap amount for their insurance option and offset the difference with taxpayer money. Since private companies don't have that ability and must keep their prices elevated to the point where they will make profit, a government option will eventually destroy the entire private market. Why would employers pay more to a private company for coverage when they can take the government option and pay less?

As the nonpartisan Lewin Group study revealed and Investor's Business Daily reported, "120 million or more Americans could lose their group coverage at work and end up in such a program." This gutting of the customer base of private insurance carriers would cause the market to "fizzle out altogether."

So why is that a bad thing? People would be covered, right? Sure, but as the president has often acknowledged, in order to cut costs, the government will have to limit access to certain procedures, surgeries, and treatment (recall that macabre moment when the president told a woman that under his plan her 105-year-old mother would have received pain pills instead of a life-saving pacemaker). The government will determine whether you're young, healthy, and responsible enough to be worth the expense. And if you don't want a government bureaucrat making those determinations for you, can you opt out of the government plan and purchase your own private insurance? Nope. Page 16 forbids it.

Some have suggested that if things got too bad in a government-run healthcare system, private companies would start popping up again and offering an alternative. There's only one problem with that. Page 16 forbids "any new policies [from being] written after the public option becomes law."

When you consider that the Obamacare header over page 16 reads "Protecting the Choice to Keep Current Coverage," you start to get an idea about the amount of deception that is taking place.

The president has admitted to being unsure of the details of the House version of Obamacare, yet has urged members to rush its passage regardless. Why? Because snake oil salesmen are never really concerned with the well-being of their customers. They distort, manipulate, mislead, and make outlandish promises . . . right before they pack up their trailer with your money and head down the road.

Peter Heck (peter@peterheck.com) hosts a two-hour, daily call-in radio program on WIOU (1350 AM) in Kokomo, Indiana. "The Peter Heck Show" comments on social and political issues -- and doesn't shy away from recognizing how faith influences politics.

Be worried, people. Be VERY worried.

2009-08-07T09:19:00.002-05:00

Where's the Democrats who were Yelling about "Wiretapping" of Suspected Terrorists?

2009-08-07T09:10:00.003-05:00

Dear President Obama,

I write to express my concern about a new White House program to monitor American citizens' speech opposing your health care policies, and to seek your assurances that this program is being carried out in a manner consistent with the First Amendment and America's tradition of free speech and public discourse.

Yesterday, in an official White House release entitled "Facts are Stubborn Things," the White House Director of New Media, Macon Phillips, asserted that there was "a lot of disinformation out there," and encouraged citizens to report "fishy" speech opposing your health care policies to the White House. Phillips specifically targeted private, unpublished, even casual speech, writing that "rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation." Phillips wrote "If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov."

I am not aware of any precedent for a President asking American citizens to report their fellow citizens to the White House for pure political speech that is deemed "fishy" or otherwise inimical to the White House's political interests.

By requesting that citizens send "fishy" emails to the White House, it is inevitable that the names, email addresses, IP addresses, and private speech of U.S. citizens will be reported to the White House. You should not be surprised that these actions taken by your White House staff raise the specter of a data collection program. As Congress debates health care reform and other critical policy matters, citizen engagement must not be chilled by fear of government monitoring the exercise of free speech rights.

I can only imagine the level of justifiable outrage had your predecessor asked Americans to forward emails critical of his policies to the White House. I suspect that you would have been leading the charge in condemning such a program-and I would have been at your side denouncing such heavy-handed government action.

So I urge you to cease this program immediately. At the very least, I request that you detail to Congress and the public the protocols that your White House is following to purge the names, email addresses, IP addresses, and identities of citizens who are reported to have engaged in "fishy" speech. And I respectfully request an answer to the following:

How do you intend to use the names, email addresses, IP addresses, and identities of citizens who are reported to have engaged in "fishy" speech?

How do you intend to notify citizens who have been reported for "fishy" speech?

What action do you intend to take against citizens who have been reported for engaging in "fishy" speech?

Do your own past statements qualify as "disinformation"? For example, is it "disinformation" to note that in 2003 you said:"I happen to be a proponent of a single-payer universal health care plan"?

I look forward to your prompt response.

Sincerely,

JOHN CORNYN
United States Senator

One Question Quiz

2009-08-03T13:49:00.002-05:00

From an email I received earlier today:

This is your chance to vote on Obama's performance on this Economy-AT&T/Yahoo Poll.

NOTE: this is a totally unbiased poll. The question is stated very simply... and, to the point. No tricks. No hidden messages. No nothing. JUST A SINGLE, SIMPLE QUESTION. There is no way that anyone can say that it was not a fair poll... or, that it was "phrased" in a way that it can be interpreted later... to fit someone else's desired answer. In other words... it is a spin-doctor's "nightmare."

http://js.polls.yahoo.com/quiz/quiziframe.php?poll_id=46067

NOTE: After you vote, you will see a second page that shows the running total and what the opinions are.

p.s. I don't think the liberal media expects the results - someone will pull it down soon.

Recent Sermon at Church in Virginia

2009-08-03T13:45:00.003-05:00

Scriptures: Gen 47:13-27

Good morning, brothers and sisters; it's always a delight to see the pews crowded on Sunday morning, and people eager to get into God's Word... Turn with me please in your Bibles, if you will, to the 47th chapter of Genesis; we'll begin our reading at verse 13 and go through verse 27.
Brother Ray, would you stand and read this great passage for us? .... Thank you for that fine reading, Brother Ray.

So we see that economic hard times fell upon Egypt, and the people turned to the government of Pharaoh to deal with this for them. And Pharaoh nationalized the grain harvest, and placed the grain in great storehouses that he had built. So the people brought their money to Pharaoh, like a great tax increase, and willingly gave it all to him in return for grain. And, this went on until their money ran out. Once again, they were hungry.

So when they went to Pharaoh after that, they brought their livestock - their cattle, their horses, their sheep, and their donkey - to barter for grain. Verse 17 says this took them only through the end of that year.

But the famine wasn't over, was it?

So the next year, the people came before Pharaoh and admitted they had nothing left, except their land and their own lives. "There is nothing left in the sight of my lord but our bodies and our land. Why should we die before your eyes, both we and our land? Buy us and our land for food, and we with our land will be servants to Pharaoh." So they surrendered their homes, their land, and their real estate to Pharaoh's government, and then sold themselves into slavery to him, in return for grain.

What can we learn from this, brothers and sisters?

That turning to the government instead of to God to be our Provider during hard times only leads to slavery? Yes..., this is the reason government wants to become our provider; it knows it can ultimately become our master. Yes! Yes! Yes!

But now look look here, how that passage ends, brothers and sisters! "Thus, Israel settled in the land of Egypt, in the land of Goshen. And they gained possessions in it, and were fruitful and multiplied greatly." God provided for His people, just as He always has! They didn't end up giving all their possessions to the government. No! It says they gained possessions!

But I also tell you a great truth today, and an ominous one. We see the same thing happening today. Once again, the government wants to "share the wealth," to take it from us, and to redistribute it back to us. It wants to take control of healthcare, just as it has taken control of education, and ration it back to us. And you know, brothers and sisters when government rations it out, then government decides who gets it, how much, and what kind.

And if we go along with it, and do it willingly, then we will wind up no differently than the people did in Egypt some four thousand years ago. We will become as slaves to the government --and as slaves to the government's leaders.

What Mr. Obama's government is doing now is no different from what Egypt's Pharaoh did then; and, my brothers and sisters, it will end in the same way...

A lot of people like to call Mr. Obama a "Messiah," don't they? I ask you, is he a Messiah? Is he truly a Savior?

After Pharaoh made the Israelites his slaves, did they ever say, "You have saved our lives, Pharaoh!" Did they ever say, "If it pleases our lord, we will be servants to you, Pharaoh"?

Well, I tell you this - I know the Messiah; the Messiah is a friend of mine; and Mr. Obama is no Messiah! No, my brothers and sisters, if Mr. Obama is a character from the Bible, then he is Pharaoh.

Bow with me in prayer, if you will.

Lord, You alone are worthy to be served, and we rely on You, and You alone. We confess that the government is not our deliverer, and never rightly will be. We20read in the eighth chapter of 1 Samuel when Samuel warned the people of what a ruler would do; where it says "And in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the LORD will not answer you in that day." And, Lord, we acknowledge that day has come. We cry out to You because of the ruler that we have chosen for ourselves as a nation... Lord, we pray for this nation. We pray for revival, and we pray for deliverance from those who would be our masters. Give us hearts to seek You and hands to serve You, and protect us, Your people, from the atrocities of Pharaoh's government.

In Jesus Holy Name we pray. AMEN.

Hypocrites (and you know who you are)

2009-07-30T09:31:00.002-05:00

If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?

If George W.. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky?

If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?

If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to “Cinco de Cuatro” in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the fourth of May (Cuatro de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment?

If George W. Bush had mis-spelled the word advice would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as “proof” of what a dunce he is?

If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he’s a hypocrite?

If George W. Bush’s administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually “get” what happened on 9-11?

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans , would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence?

If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan’s holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything?

Don't worry. He's done all this in 5 months -- so you'll have three years and seven months to come up with an answer.

and now for a laugh . . .

2009-07-28T10:35:00.001-05:00

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart.

The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

We Have GOT To Get HIM OUT!!!!!

2009-07-28T09:50:00.004-05:00

I truly fear for my son's future and what kind of country we will be leaving to our children if we don't TAKE OUR NATION BACK!!!! Prayers to God that we Christians, who know how dangerous Obama will be to our country, will come together and ensure his removal from the White House in 4 years!!!! Amen.

The American Spectator
July 24, 2009
By Ben Stein

We've Figured Him Out

Why is President Barack Obama in such a hurry to get his socialized medicine bill passed?

Because he and his cunning circle realize some basic truths:

The American people in their unimaginable kindness and trust voted for a pig in a poke in 2008. They wanted so much to believe Barack Obama was somehow better and different from other ultra-leftists that they simply took him on faith.

They ignored his anti-white writings in his books. They ignored his quiet acceptance of hysterical anti-American diatribes by his minister, Jeremiah Wright.

They ignored his refusal to explain years at a time of his life as a student. They ignored his ultra-left record as a "community organizer," Illinois state legislator, and Senator.

The American people ignored his total zero of an academic record as a student and teacher, his complete lack of scholarship when he was being touted as a scholar.

Now, the American people are starting to wake up to the truth. Barack Obama is a super likeable super leftist, not a fan of this country, way, way too cozy with the terrorist leaders in the Middle East, way beyond naïveté, all the way into active destruction of our interests and our allies and our future.

The American people have already awakened to the truth that the stimulus bill -- a great idea in theory -- was really an immense bribe to Democrat interest groups, and in no way an effort to help all Americans.

Now, Americans are waking up to the truth that ObamaCare basically means that every time you are sick or injured, you will have a clerk from the Department of Motor Vehicles telling your doctor what he can and cannot do.

The American people already know that Mr. Obama's plan to lower health costs while expanding coverage and bureaucracy is a myth, a promise of something that never was and never will be -- a bureaucracy lowering costs in a free society. Either the costs go up or the free society goes away.

These are perilous times. Mrs. Hillary Clinton, our Secretary of State, has given Iran the go-ahead to have nuclear weapons, an unqualified betrayal of the nation. Now, we face a devastating loss of freedom at home in health care. It will be joined by controls on our lives to "protect us" from global warming, itself largely a fraud if believed to be caused by man.

Mr. Obama knows Americans are getting wise and will stop him if he delays at all in taking away our freedoms.

There is his urgency and our opportunity. Once freedom is lost, America is lost. Wake up, beloved America.

Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes "Ben Stein's Diary" for every issue of The American Spectator.

American Citizens FIRST!!!!!!

2009-07-23T14:42:00.003-05:00

Damnit!!

This is seriously pissing me off, people. I don't give a crap what anyone says but I completely agree with the hospital's decision to kick this guy back to his Guatemalan curb.

With our country in the midst of a healthcare shakedown, the last thing we need to be doing is footing a multi-million dollar medical bill for someone who is not even a legal citizen. I understand humantarian compassion but quite frankly, I'm all out.

And here's why:

Two years ago my toddler son required surgery on his right knee to remove a large cyst that threatened normal development of the knee joint. WE HAD HEALTH INSURANCE. The deductible was $1,000 for hospitalization. Okay. After insurance paid all but the deductible, we would be responsible for the remaining $1,000.

THE HOSPITAL WOULD NOT ADMIT MY SON UNTIL I PAID AT LEAST $500 CASH!!

WTF?!!??!!!??!!

I'd be interested to know how much the Guatemalan citizen paid towards his American healthcare. Not a damn dime, I'll betcha!

Gee, maybe supporting every illegal wasn't such a good idea AFTER ALL?!?!!??!!!

2009-07-21T09:40:00.006-05:00

People can talk all the crap they want to about Texas but at least we are trying to serve American citizens FIRST with our government assistance programs. Tighten up your damn border, California. Then you might have a few extra dollars in the bank.

2009-07-20T15:51:00.002-05:00

Complete Inability to Comprehend

2009-07-17T11:40:00.003-05:00

I just read the news reports and viewed the raw video of a suicide bomber in this morning's attacks in Jakarta.

Why?

What on earth snaps in a person's brain to make them actually believe that strapping on 40 pounds of explosives around their bodies is a good or productive idea? The only thing I can tell myself to even begin to see these types of people as remotely intelligent is that they have been living a life of unimaginable misery and subhuman conditions that ANYTHING (even blowing themselves into 7 separate parts) is preferable to living another day. I just wish they would choose to do it away from innocent crowds.

Dr. P actually came out of my nose!!

2009-07-16T13:10:00.002-05:00

I don't know why but this video has got me completely cracking up!!!

Joke of the Week

2009-07-15T14:03:00.001-05:00

Firetruck

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.

'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed that the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'